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Detroit Lions Draft Brandon Inge

The Troll — Tue, 01 May 2012 03:09:19 +0000

Most people won’t know why this is funny. Heck…it’s really not even that funny, but it is to me. You see, Brandon Inge has played for the Detroit Tigers baseball team since 2001. That’s a long time right? Excruciatingly long actually. To last that long in Major League Baseball is normally an exceptional feat. Players just don’t last this long unless they are very good, or at least provide some sort of utility for a team like being a great relief pitcher. You ask…Inge must have been good at SOMETHING right? At one time maybe. HE was really good at diving for baseballs and making it look like he was an awesome defender. Something that is sort of useful, but doesn’t keep you in the league for 10+ years normally. Especially when for the past 5 years he has had bad knees and isn’t even in the top half of defenders at his position.

So…what is he good at? Striking out on check swings is my answer.

This guy couldn’t hit. He has a career batting average of .234. ThisBA is usually not even acceptable for a catcher, and catchers aren’t really expected to be great hitters because they call the games for the pitcher and that is pretty important. Still if you hit .234 for 10 years at catcher you aren’t gonna be playing for 10 years either. You’ll be selling decorative switch plate covers at Lowe’s.

Worst part about this is that he seemed like he was a fan favorite in Detroit. PEole that didn’t really watch baseball loved him for some reason. The diving around is my best guess. This guy could go 0-4 with 3 strikeouts in a game and end up being voted Player of the Game on our local broadcasts with the little cell phone text voting they have every game. I mean this guy was actually popular. Women and old ladies loved him.

So why was he kept around so long? I have NO IDEA. All I can guess is that he mifght have sold tickets, but even that seems absurd.

Anyways, they cut his ass finally this week and he is gone FOR GOOD. Then this happened….

Creepiest and most disgusting thing on Youtube?

The Troll — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:20:28 +0000

I can’t even get through 30 seconds of this before I have to turn it off. It’s absolutely disgusting. So creepy.

I really don’t know what this is from, but it’s the most awkward thing I have ever seen. The crowd reactions are the strangest of it all. Sometimes they laugh, and cheer, but you can tell at certain points that they just can’t really get on board with this sicko and his dialogue with these kids. I’ll bet you can’t make it past the first kid.

EVERYONE Pirates Music

The Troll — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 02:12:45 +0000

Nobody pays for music anymore. Doesn’t matter if you are a broke college kid, or running a sporting event and need to have the national anthem for the medal winners.

A gold-medal winning athlete from Kazakhstan was forced to stand through a national anthem that insulted other countries and boasted of her nation’s “clean prostitutes” when organizers at a shooting competition accidentally played a fake anthem from the comedy film “Borat.” Nice spray tan.

Watch the video below.

New Seth MacFarlane Movie “Ted” (His First)

The Troll — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 03:10:35 +0000

Looks hilarious. Starring Mark Whalberg (This guy is hit, or miss, but he’s awesome when acting funny IMO), Mila Kunis (hot as hell) are playing a couple. Then Seth MacFarlane is playing…Ted…a stuffed Teddy Bear that talks. Like a sailor with a yoyo.

It’s just stupid funny looking. The preview below is nice and long. 3 minutes. Also, there is a website for Ted is Real that goes more into it. Appareantly it doesn’t open until July, but I’m sure you will see it advertised everywhere until then as Seth MacFarlane is about the most annoyingly everywhere guy there ever was.

Bastion Narrator Invades Other Games

The Troll — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:03:28 +0000

IF you read my Bastion review a while back you know that I highly recommended the game. It’s just a beautiful game with a unique presentation. Mostly though, the narrator talking all the way through and narrating almost your every move is one of the best parts of the game. I know it sounds annoying, but it just…works. I mean you don’t want some guy narrating your life at your costco jobs or anything, but in a game it is cool.

Anyways, I saw this a few months ago and neglected to post it so I am doing it now. If you played Bastion already you will love it of course. It’s good either way though.

Ice Cube’s “Good Day”

The Troll — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 21:54:40 +0000

Forgot to post this a few weeks back. This was always one of my favorite songs growing up. Ice Cube “It Was a Good Day”. (video below). I always preferred the Bootlegs and B-Sides version that showed up on the single of “Check Yo’ Self”, but this is the MTV version uncensored.

Anyways, a few weeks back this guy posted his formula for proving what day it was that was Ice Cube’s “Good Day”. There is no room for debate here. The day JANUARY 20, 1992. Got me some stainless steel sinks.

CLUE 1:
“went to short dogs house,
they was watching Yo MTV
RAPS”
Yo MTV RAPS first aired:
Aug 6th 1988
CLUE 2:
Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on:
Feb 23 1993
CLUE 3:
”The Lakers beat the Super
Sonics”
Dates between Yo MTV Raps air date AUGUST 6 1988 and the release of the single FEBRUARY 23 1993 where the Lakers beat the Super Sonics:
Nov 11 1988 114-103
Nov 30 1988 110-106
Apr 4 1989 115-97
Apr 23 1989 121-117
Jan 17 1990 100-90
Feb 28 1990 112-107
Mar 25 1990 116-94
Apr 17 1990 102-101
Jan 18 1991 105-96
Mar 24 1991 113-96
Apr 21 1991 103-100
Jan 20 1992 116-110
CLUE 4:
Dates of those Laker wins over SuperSonics where it was a clear day with no Smog:
Nov 30 1988
Apr 4 1989
Jan 18 1991
Jan 20 1992
CLUE 5:
“Got a beep from Kim, and
she can fuck all night”
beepers weren’t adopted by mobile phone companies until the 1990s. Dates left where mobile beepers were availible to public:
Jan 18 1991
Jan 20 1992
CLUE 6:
Ice Cube starred in the film “Boyz in the hood” that released late Summer of 1991, but was being filmed mid-late 1990 early 1991 and Ice Cube was busy on set filming the movie Jan 18 1991 too busy to be lounging around the streets with no plans. Ladies and Gentlemen..
The ONLY day where:
Yo MTV Raps was on air
It was a clear and smogless day
Beepers were commercially sold
Lakers beat the SuperSonics
and Ice Cube had no events to attend was…

JANUARY 20 1992
National Good Day Day
-Donovan

Skeptics Beware: You Aren’t Really a Skeptic (Some Youtube Recs)

The Troll — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:20:08 +0000

Anyone that spends any time on the internet knows that myths spread like wildfire from places like Twitter to just stupid bloggers. Some guy will make a claim like “We are heading for an ice age! Global Warming is FAKE!” while citing some source that completely disproves their claim. Yes I said that right, people actually cite a source in many myth stories that end up disputing their headline. These are the dumbest of the dumb of course, as most try to hide their sources, or just plain don’t have one. They are literally just saying things some random person told them and running with it as if it were proven.

9/11 theories tend to be of this sort. People call themselves “skeptics”, but this is meaningless if they don’t actually do any of the research that is required of being skeptical. You have to have a reason to dispute a claim. You can’t just go with your gut. I wanted to recommend a couple of people that take different approaches to skepticism (one just recently), and another who has a myriad of great videos about BS finding its way into common bar talk.

The first is more of a POE (Click here for Poe’s Law), that has just recently started mockign Truthers for fun. This would be the great EdwardCurrent.

Ed is so convincing to some it appears that they actually believe him to be a man of God. While most can tell he is not, it is amusing to see just how many do think he is. The skeptic side seems to be a new thing and he is coming clean a bit with his trolling. Now just outright mocking all the non-logical believers in the absurd. He looks like a Travel Agent Jobs type to me for some reason.

The next guy I find to be much more of a pro. He isn’t just out there mocking, but doing the research to back up his claims. A well-versed reporter for his entire career, he shows you how to be a REAL skeptic. Not just one that takes anything outlandish they hear and spread it around as fact.

I am speaking of potholer54. He spends time on climate change, scientific lies being perpetrated by lack of research, and mocks a few that he considers outright liars. This guy isn’t the typical skeptic. He is very good at research and he is quite comical with his dry humor on top of his relentless research. He also spends some time sharing with you how to research all this nonsense you hear yourself, which is quite simple. Highly entertaining.

Michael Winslow Does Led Zepplin (Guitar with voice)

The Troll — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 23:02:07 +0000

If you have never seen the Police Academy movies you probably have no idea who this guy is. In those movies he made all kinds of ridiculously awesome sound effects using only his voice to help his academy cronies get away with stuff. Playing pranks on their superior officers and whatnot in the classic comedies. (Movies are worth a watch if you have never seen them. Surely found in bargain bins, or Friends and Family Offers somewhere.).

While it is incredible that this guy hasn’t found more success over the years, he does have some pretty awesome videos floating around doing some pretty amazing things. A recent video popped up this week in which he sings and plays guitar with his voice of the legendary Led Zepplin. I also tossed in a Jimi Hendrix impersonation too which is crazy as well. (NOTE: The National Anthem part is EXACTLY the way Hendrix played it. It’s not him screwing up.)

Detroit Lions=Murderers? Pure Michigan

The Troll — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:47:30 +0000

I’m sure you know by now that I am a Detroit sports slappy. Lions, Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings (if thy make the playoffs *cough*), and the Michigan Wolverines when I am not sick of college football.

So I pretty much pay attention to these teams and watch most games for the NFL and even baseball. Forgazi produces a serious of videos that are based on some innocent Michigan promo videos that are “Pure Michigan”. These videos talk about the lakes, certain attractions, steel buildings, etc. to promote tourism. Forgazi on the other hand…makes them all into a joke among other videos like mocking Lebron James.

This one is a Redux of the original Lions fans video here. This one states that the Detroit Lions are MURDERERS. Enjoy

The Great Rod Allen and Mario Impemba

The Troll — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 03:48:05 +0000

Since I’m a big Detroit sports fan, and the Tigers are int eh playoffs, I figured I’d share some of our local flavor. Our trusty Tigers announcers may not be the flashiest guys in the business, but they have some hilarious moments in their calls. Rod Allen has a lot of silly catch phrases that people say mockingly. Mario is pretty laid back, but they tend to have a good time in the booth.

If you follow the Tigers you know them both, and you know all about Rod Allen chasing a Japanese pitcher around the field when he was in Japan trying to make him need a heated mattress pads. Here are a few funny videos of our dynamic duo.

Better than Rick: