I noticed today that Wikipedia, the website here all information is 100% correct, 100% of the time, has listed Count Chocula in their vampire chart. From how it looks to me, he is the strongest, and greatest vampire.

he has no known weaknesses.

he has every vampire power.

he also has the power to levitate marshmallows.

So if you were to compare him to every vampire out there, he clearly looks as if he is the greatest. Of course he even makes super sweet cereal as well.

YOU CAN’T KILL HIM. HIS WEAKNESSES ARE ZERO.

Not even getting jobs philadelphia would be enough to destroy his soul.

Look at these crap cereal toys:

I saw this quote on the internet and have to say I do not agree:

“Seems the standards for getting your mind blown have dropped since the days of Einstein and Godel.”

For many years it is well accepted that many things blow your mind on the internet. A topic featuring the title: MIND=BLOWN should result is many, many examples of such a thing.

For example, the first post of a thread:

Miles Prower = Miles Per Hour

OMG MIND=BLOWN

While your mind doesn’t actually explode the saying is meant to take something you probably take for granted and look at it more critically. Finding something in it that may not have been intended, but did show up in the result.

Take this infamous MIND=BLOWN image:

It is a logo of the Nintendo Gamecube in which the “G” has a “C” inside of it. Completely mind blowing to a child of 11 sitting on his discount classroom furniture.

More examples:

-The bushes in Super Mario Bros are recolored clouds.
-
-OMG, he’s called Dr. EGGman because he’s fat and shaped like an egg!!
-Arcticdos!
Zaptres!
Moluno!
-All of the pokemon towns in the Kanto region were named after colors (hence the name Pallet town).

As you can see there are many things that can blow your mind. I believe this deserves more exploration, and plan to do so in the future after taking a lot of medication.

Let’s first just say that these 2 guys are somewhat similar in the “I say vulgar things just because I can” kind of way. Neither are brilliant, but they both have some fanboys/girls that make you think they are actually the funniest people alive.

While watching a 5 part video set of Tosh I came to realize that people actually fight with eachother about who is actually funny, or who is the bigger hack.

Here is Part 1 of 5 of Daniel Tosh’s “True Stories I Made Up” (the others will be in the player after it is done):

Go here to read the comments and notice that it went the way most youtube videos do. Internet Tough Guys come out and have opinions that are terrible.

This guy actually conned Youtube and was able to post the ENTIRE 2 hour DVD of Dane Cook special “A Vicious Circle”:

We’ll see how long that lasts. This is some of his last work that people don’t particularly like.

Anyways…Dane Cook is that guy that everyone uses as a punchline now to say that he is the biggest loser comedian ever for some reason. While I find him about as funny as the way I find saying “poop” funny, the fanboys/girls seem to believe he is Jesus on the top diet pills. Hard to argue he is a loser when he gets mad ass.

So…basically these guys are kind of a like and they both have their fanboys/girls. So they fight. How sad do you have to be that you are actually going to argue that 2 mediocre to sometimes funny to joke stealing comedians are better than the other?

Who do you think is better? The correct response is: They are both mediocre.

Well…I gave my R.I.P. post for the legendary singer yesterday, but I can’t ignore the Michael Jackson joke side of this either. While I consider him to be an amazing musician, and an exemplary humanitarian, I usually like to grieve with laughter.

Now don’t get me wrong. I STILL to this day DO NOT believe he molested any kids. Inappropriate situations? Certainly, but I highly doubt he molested those kids. The evidence doesn’t show he did IMO, and I’m going to stick to it. So…I WILL NOT be posting any jokes that refer to him as a child molester since I don’t believe it to be true, and therefore, not lulzworthy.

So…if I don’t believe he did that what is there to actually joke about? Come on now. MJ was an odd fellow. Extravagant to the EXTREME. Are there jokes in there? Oh yeah there are.

Michael Jackson may be the strangest and saddest story in entertainment ever told. This guy had a hellish childhood off the stage like many other child stars. Abuse, and lack of childhood turned him into a very odd person as an adult.

Jackson is fascinating as a psychological study on the same level as what a serial killer would be IMO. Did I just call him a serial killer? Get your head out of your ass. No I DID NOT. Many of the things he did make his mind as intriguing as trying to figure out why serial killers did what they did.

This guy went from being black to being so white he was practically transparent. What brings a man to do this? Not happy with himself obviously, but really how do you get to this point? Not only the “whitening”, but he turned into an unrecognizable human in the last decade. HE turned himself into a ghoul. What kind of disorder could possibly do this to a man? You would think that he’d need a Morristown personal injury lawyer after all these surgeries. No one could possibly do this to themselves.

I saw an interesting interview a couple days ago that suggested he saw his father in his face so much that he did all of this to get rid of the resemblance. Now that is a great theory, however it is just a theory. We really don’t understand this man as a person in any way. I like to think that he had a HUGE heart. Loved so much that he couldn’t help it, but couldn’t ever love himself.

OK…so I said I was going to post some jokes, but as I was writing this I didn’t really want to anymore. This story just makes me too sad to make fun of it.

BUT…

Since I do like to laugh, and you are going to just come on here and call him a pedophile, and probably rehash some jokes in the comments that I have heard 121244132123 times…I may as well just give you a link to MJ jokes to tide you over. Like I said I don’t think he molested kids so I don’t find those jokes funny in any way. If you post them it will not get a laugh out of me.

Someone tried to cash in on his death immediately and bought this domain:

http://www.deadmichaeljacksonjokes.com/

Site is gone already. Amazing. Either that or the coder is trying to fix it. It wasn’t working properly when I went there the first time so maybe it will be back eventually. It had plenty to keep your hateful, angry heart full of fire for the time being.

Oh well…you know how to use Google.

UPDATE: That site was fixed. The creep running it was just fixing the format because he blew it the first time it appears. Enjoy.

Yup…it is getting closer. The end of the world. 2012 is coming and everyone is predicting it will be our demise.

This is one of the dumbest conspiracies out there, and has been for ages. Unfortunately it is picking up more and more on message boards these last couple years due to it only be a few years away.

What is “2012″? First of all, it is bullshit. If you are dumb enough to believe it then by all means keep doing so and do it publicly so that I can scratch you off my “people to talk to list”.

Now what is it actually from the standpoint of believers? In the basic sense it has something to do with the Myan Calender. IT is believed by people that know little to nothing about it that on December 21st, 2012 A.D.at exactly 12:11 ET the world will end. Why? Because the Myan Calender ends of course…DUH

OF course this really isn’t true in any sense. While I find this topic fascinating and really really think that all these things will happen I am not about to write all the rubbish associated with it here. Instead you can go off and read about it from either the believers, or the people that think those people are quacks.

Here are some of the “believer” sites out there:

Oh for fucks sake…Are you kidding me here? There is actually a movie out called 2012? A big budget movie? Actually looks kind of good…lol Here is the trailer.

This person either wants to scam you by playing on your beliefs (Like Alex Jones), or they truly believe it. Either way it is a good site for this crap.

This is just a list of the prophecies associated with it from the Wiki community.

A lot of information here. Odds are they are full of crap too and are just doing this to make money . Kind of like the majority of conspiracy whackos are, but you idiots still think it is true. If you believe Loose Change you will believe anything so I am assuming you believe in 2012.

Somewhat Sane People:

Here is someone that talks about the calender in the real sense and not the crackpot sense.

This site is actually really good. It has articles about almost all aspects of the 2012 crackpot theories and disputes them one by one with something really crazy…..SCIENCE….ooooh scary. They also throw in a little humor here and there and make you feel like an idiot if you actually believe in the 2012 voodoo. Well done, sir.

Now you have your truth. Well…one side does and the other is “crazy”. Each side is different depending on which group “sold” you enough on it being real, or BS. Kind of like religion >:). I think I’ll worrry more about immediate help like losing some weight with Anoretix diet pills. If you want to live in fear then have at it . I for one have a Vault Tec Vault, a Pip Boy 3000, and no fear of killing Super Mutants so I’m all set.