Great day for real world trolling friends. First we had Dan Gilbert vs. Lebron James, and now we have the release of the Mel Gibson racist and expletive riddled rant against his former lover Oksana Grigorieva. Sadly it can’t be shared anywhere yet, but it is available to listen to here for the time being. (May not last so listen while you can.)

If you have been under a rock for a while you are going to find Mel Gibson berating his former lover to no end with offensive language, and racist remarks. Telling her for the most part that she is worthless and that he isn’t gonna put up with it anymore. He is truly a class act, and his career is going to be on the rise after this outburst. /sarcasm

Actually, he’s going to be doing infomercials and Mercury insurance reviews pretty soon with as many crazy rants as he has had.

Trolling isn’t always on the internet. Sometimes we get some real life trolling. Yesterday the most absurd display in sporting history began with Lebron James having a press conference to announce what team he plans to play for next year. This has never happened before to this degree. The biggest free agent move in sports history.

So…after Lebron left his old Cleveland Cavs for the sunny Miami Heat to form the newest “Dream Team”, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert went into troll mode.

Earlier today this gem was released as a statement to the media from Gilbert:

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

As you can see he is pretty upset. Clearly he felt that he had gotten a little more than just colon cleanse reviews but an anal cleansing for real.

Gilbert also owns the company that produces those obnoxious Fatheads. You know those life sized players you put up on walls that cost $99.99. Lebron has 3 of them in inventory, but they have been trimmed down to $17.41 at Fathead.com. The significance of this move? American Revolutionary War general Benedict Arnold, a traitor who defected to the British, was born in 1741.

This is gonna be some fun stuff over the next few weeks I imagine.

If you have ever gone to Amazon.com you have most likely seen that they will tell you what customers who buy the product you are looking at also bought. Most of the time it doesn’t mean a whole lot,m and the products actually fit with each other. Sometime though…the combo just makes you laugh out loud.

In the case of the Communion Wafer (Communion wafers represent the Body of Christ in a Christian Religion. Extremely holy), we see some fascination common purchases by the wafer customer.

It takes a customer review to point out the hilarity many times, and Amazon reviews are hilarious many times as you might remember from the 3 Wolf Moon T-shirt.

In the case of the Communion Wafer, this review was found to be most helpful:

I can’t be the only one to have noticed this…, January 13, 2010
By An Inquiring Mind
…but isn’t interesting that the same guys buying communion wafers are also ardent purchasers of astroglide?

Just sayin.

As you can see by the comments, there are more than a few that have poked their jabs at the Catholic priests, and any other aspect of Christianity. Why this is so funny is because Astroglide is LUBE. You know, if you know anything about lube that t is used to make teh sex a little bit more slippy slidey.

Why lube and Christianity together is comical is well…because Christianity goes out of its way to make sure that everything related to sexuality is considered sinful. Sexual thoughts, sex for pleasure instead of pro-creation, masturbation is a huge no-no. The Catholic religion in particular makes sex something that any good Catholic should feel guilty about at all times, and surely will get them sent to hell if they even think about it. That’s right, you can’t even lust after a hot woman if you are Catholic because god will know you are and that is a sin. Makes you wonder why they even buy things like anti wrinkle face cream and super sweet clothes to look impressive at church on Sundays.

Besides the Astroglide being a top customer purchase by those who want Jesus in a cracker box, it appears that even the most devout followers (you must be devout if you are actually buying Christ wafers aren’t you?) have some misgivings about their faith. They are breaking a major law of the Bible and looking into FALSE GODS! Yes, that’s right. One of the other purchases are The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! A false religion that was invented by people that are atheist to make fun of other religions.

and of course good Christians can’t possibly forget about the Jesus Killer Jews now can they? This has to be some sort of sub-conscious purchase here. Customers also bought the DVD entitle “Holocaust”…LMAO

There are plenty of other great reviews on the Communion Wafers page, so spend some time there checking them out. I just posted the “Most helpful” review, but others have joined seeking attention as well.

Almost all message board users who have A) Never had a job, or B) Have rich parents are either Communists, or Socialists.

If you ever see a conversation about economic governmental theory on a board with younger users, it is probable that most of these youngters are either spouting Socialism, or Communism ideals like they just “figured it all out”.

It’s laughable in every instance. They are completely clueless in how the world actually works.

Capitalism on the other hand is seen as pure evil. Here are some random examples of Capitalistic hate:

Pro-Capitalism Guy: People that say that Capitalism “is harder for poor people blah blah…”

The REAL answer is that it is “harder for STUPID and LAZY people…”

Anti-Capitalism Guy: The problem is, stupid and lazy people with rich parents have it easier than stupid and lazy people with poor parents.

Pro-Capitalism Guy: Are stupid and lazy people slaves? They have human rights. They don’t deserve everything that costs money free.

Anti-Capitalism Guy: But the stupid and lazy people with large inheritances get it free anyway.

Pro-Capitalism Guy: Fortunately, everyone else doesn’t have to PAY for those people being stupid and lazy.

Anti-Capitalism Guy: That’s obvious. I’m still saying it ends up in unfair advantages.

Which is why there might as well be a 100% inheritance tax. When you’re dead you no longer have the capacity to care about money.

Pro-Capitalism Guy: Wow…you are an idiot.

——————
Basically most people that are poor online hate rich people no matter what and have Robin Hood syndrome. While nobody ever said Capitalism is perfect, it’s not bad for the reasons most of these morons think it is bad. At least in a Capitalistic society you can get stuff like cheap weight loss pills because of competition if you are fat and lazy. Illogical fools.

I noticed today that Wikipedia, the website here all information is 100% correct, 100% of the time, has listed Count Chocula in their vampire chart. From how it looks to me, he is the strongest, and greatest vampire.

he has no known weaknesses.

he has every vampire power.

he also has the power to levitate marshmallows.

So if you were to compare him to every vampire out there, he clearly looks as if he is the greatest. Of course he even makes super sweet cereal as well.

YOU CAN’T KILL HIM. HIS WEAKNESSES ARE ZERO.

Not even getting jobs philadelphia would be enough to destroy his soul.

Look at these crap cereal toys: