The internet is a hotbed of atheists arguing with Christians. Sometimes they argue with Muslims, but most of the atheists online tend to stick with Christians since they know more about it living in the Western World. One of the most absurd Bible stories is truly Noah’s Ark.

From a scientific point of view Noah’s Ark makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Of course that doesn’t stop Christians from claiming to have found the ancient ark, or arguing that it was in fact a real event. I’ve even heard the term Noachian Flood, which I suppose is supposed to sound scientific. Just as scientific as aecg machines I imagine.

Nothing is more laughable than seeing arguments like this though as arguments. Here’s a taste:

Point out that to get two of each kind of animal from every part of the world may not be so unbelievable because of the size of the world at the time. The theory of Pangaea (which basically states that the continents were all connected forming one big “supercontinent”) is probably true. Before Noah’s flood, all of the land masses on earth were all joined to form one continent. This would eliminate the idea that animals would have to cross oceans to reach the ark.

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Don’t know why I am talking about this but it brought some pretty weird opinions and absurd notions out. There is this game that you train dogs and have them fight each other called “Dog Wars”.

Apparently the Humane Society is trying to have it removed from the Android App store. Human Society President Wayne Pacelle said: “the game could be used as virtual training ground for would-be dogfighters.” DAR…

It’s like the time I played Mortal Kombat and I decided that my training in that fighting game was a stepping stone for my own fight club. We decided that after we beat other fighters with pool cues we would allow fighters to rip the opponent’s head off with their spine attached after the matches if they lose. If it wasn’t for that game I never would have thought of it. Oh wait…I never did that.

Then of course we are getting quotes from none other than Mike Vick saying how he thinks that dog fighting is bad now and that it is a “dead end street”. Mainly because he got caught and was sent to jail because he had a dog fighting ring. pool cues

The website with the app on it decided to troll the Humane society though by saying: “Perhaps one day we will make gerbil wars or beta fish wars for people who can’t understand fantasy role play games,” it says.

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In all the years the internet has been around in mass use, is there any phenomenon more intense, or simply insane than this kid Justin Bieber?

Like many, I don’t even know anything this dude sings. Nothing. I see him and just move on, or stop listening. I have no reason for it. I just know that he is everywhere and he is basically gone from me not knowing who he is to background noise.

Regardless of me not knowing anything of his talents I still find the entire concept of him fascinating from an internet standpoint. While teen heartthrobs have been around forever, there has never been a perfect storm such as this one where a guy became known from just a few Youtube videos (which basically made him internet boomstick all by itself) to th most talked about person in the world. For like 2 years.

I actually kind of admire his scam. His team of marketing guys have trolled the holy hell out of everyone and gotten this guy more exposure than anyone I can ever remember. The fact that he rarely has negative press for being a jackass makes it even more astounding considering that he probably has a camera inside his brain monitoring his thoughts and turning them into waves of teen sex candy that is then emitted to every satellite in the universe and burned into homes and brains with super space age technology microchips that are inhaled through the ventilation systems in every public school. Yup. That is real.

What is most disturbing about all this is the amount of RAGE this guy instigates. 12 year-old fangirls are understandable. They are just easily influenced and coming into horniness. The sad part is that people of all ages spend more time talking smack about this guy than they do anything else. I wouldn’t be shocked to see the number of the new best desktops being tossed and kicked to pieces being in the thousands with the excuse being: Justin Bieber.

Just look at his new movie on IMDb.com. While I have already posted about people on IMDb being the dumbest people on the internet, this page and its message board may make you stab yourself reading it. It is the culmination of everything stupid that ever stupided in history of stupid.

Not only do the haters spend as much, if not more time hating him than the blind fans do loving him, they even put in the effort to make sure that this movie is the lowest rated of all-time. A few days ago the movie was rated a 1.4/10. Today it is rated at an astounding 1.1/10. It is unfathomable how this is actually possible really considering that this guy has so many fans.

It isn’t possible to get a rating this low just from a bunch of kids either. GROWN men and women literally have to be part of the campaign to rate down a movie by a 16 YEAR OLD KID to get the score this low. Unless you want to blame /b/ for it all, but seriously they can’t take credit for this.

IMDb will eventually say it’s a documentary and it won’t be eligible for the “250 Worst”. Making the whole campaign (yes there is a campaign on the message board here with hundreds of messages. Turn your brain to goo by reading it) even more absurd, and painful to watch.

This is so disgusting that there is literally a topic on that board right now titled: “Justin Bieber is sleeping at the back of the bus, you have a knife …” with the message saying “What would you do?”. Can you believe this crap? I don’t care how morbid your sense of humor is, I’m not sure you are mentally fit to post on a message board if these are your thoughts.

If it wasn’t so incredibly sad, I might find these haters something to laugh at. I just can’t though. If there was ever a case of group think it would be this.

This is a great moment in human psychology and its history. This case is so extreme that it may be appropriate for books to be written about how insane these people are. I actually have a short story in mind for it if I ever feel like writing it one day…which is probably never.

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When household chores go wrong. According to a 14 year old boy a fish got into his penis when he was CLEANING HIS FISH TANK. Oh my. I wasn’t aware that having your penis out while you cleaned a fish tank was the proper method. I’ve been doing it wrong all along.

Even worse than the awful lie is that some doctor decided to write a paper about what happened to the kid:

Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: “While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.”

So much wrong with this story. Kid going to bathroom with a fish? Why did he take the fish out of the tank? Please tell me the doctor didn’t believe this story. He WROTE A PAPER ABOUT IT…HAHAHAHA

The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide. Is this a new form of the best weight loss supplement?

He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma. The only trauma this kid should have is all the kids at school calling his perverted bluff IMO.

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One of the things about Youtube that people get touchy about is when others download someone else’s video and re-upload it in the exact form just to scam views. Problem is that most people are just too lazy to edit the video even slightly to make it seem like they made an effort.

Look…that original video is always going to be the best. You will never compete with them for views, or will you? This isn’t necessarily true. For the bigtime videos it certainly is. You aren’t going to pull 2 million views on a copy video that someone else uploaded that’s for sure. Of course all those 10-30,000 view videos are pretty fair game.

Take this remade Epic Football Fail video for example. This video was reuploaded with a slight twist from the original. The original has probably 2 million views already, but this one which was actually a video response, and probably a better video overall only has about 1500 views. The original got linked on Huffington Post so this guy has no chance, but at least it has added value for other users. I wouldn’t be completely upset if I clicked this video after watching the original like I would if some douche just changed the title and used the same vid again. IF you keep doing this your term life insurance rates are sure to go up.

What the hell am I even talking about here? Well this post is mainly to complain about all the damn repeat videos posted on Youtube with absolutely no effort to reinvent them for more entertainment. They are a WASTE OF TIME. All you need is Windows Movie Maker and anyone can change these videos enough to give us a new twist. Quit uploading the same shit I just watched again.

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