Like many, I don’t even know anything this dude sings. Nothing. I see him and just move on, or stop listening. I have no reason for it. I just know that he is everywhere and he is basically gone from me not knowing who he is to background noise.

Regardless of me not knowing anything of his talents I still find the entire concept of him fascinating from an internet standpoint. While teen heartthrobs have been around forever, there has never been a perfect storm such as this one where a guy became known from just a few Youtube videos (which basically made him internet boomstick all by itself) to th most talked about person in the world. For like 2 years.

I actually kind of admire his scam. His team of marketing guys have trolled the holy hell out of everyone and gotten this guy more exposure than anyone I can ever remember. The fact that he rarely has negative press for being a jackass makes it even more astounding considering that he probably has a camera inside his brain monitoring his thoughts and turning them into waves of teen sex candy that is then emitted to every satellite in the universe and burned into homes and brains with super space age technology microchips that are inhaled through the ventilation systems in every public school. Yup. That is real.

What is most disturbing about all this is the amount of RAGE this guy instigates. 12 year-old fangirls are understandable. They are just easily influenced and coming into horniness. The sad part is that people of all ages spend more time talking smack about this guy than they do anything else. I wouldn’t be shocked to see the number of the new best desktops being tossed and kicked to pieces being in the thousands with the excuse being: Justin Bieber.

Just look at his new movie on IMDb.com. While I have already posted about people on IMDb being the dumbest people on the internet, this page and its message board may make you stab yourself reading it. It is the culmination of everything stupid that ever stupided in history of stupid.

Not only do the haters spend as much, if not more time hating him than the blind fans do loving him, they even put in the effort to make sure that this movie is the lowest rated of all-time. A few days ago the movie was rated a 1.4/10. Today it is rated at an astounding 1.1/10. It is unfathomable how this is actually possible really considering that this guy has so many fans.

It isn’t possible to get a rating this low just from a bunch of kids either. GROWN men and women literally have to be part of the campaign to rate down a movie by a 16 YEAR OLD KID to get the score this low. Unless you want to blame /b/ for it all, but seriously they can’t take credit for this.

IMDb will eventually say it’s a documentary and it won’t be eligible for the “250 Worst”. Making the whole campaign (yes there is a campaign on the message board here with hundreds of messages. Turn your brain to goo by reading it) even more absurd, and painful to watch.

This is so disgusting that there is literally a topic on that board right now titled: “Justin Bieber is sleeping at the back of the bus, you have a knife …” with the message saying “What would you do?”. Can you believe this crap? I don’t care how morbid your sense of humor is, I’m not sure you are mentally fit to post on a message board if these are your thoughts.

If it wasn’t so incredibly sad, I might find these haters something to laugh at. I just can’t though. If there was ever a case of group think it would be this.

This is a great moment in human psychology and its history. This case is so extreme that it may be appropriate for books to be written about how insane these people are. I actually have a short story in mind for it if I ever feel like writing it one day…which is probably never.

Even worse than the awful lie is that some doctor decided to write a paper about what happened to the kid:

Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: “While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.”

So much wrong with this story. Kid going to bathroom with a fish? Why did he take the fish out of the tank? Please tell me the doctor didn’t believe this story. He WROTE A PAPER ABOUT IT…HAHAHAHA

The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide. Is this a new form of the best weight loss supplement?

He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma. The only trauma this kid should have is all the kids at school calling his perverted bluff IMO.

Part of this is pure laziness on my part, but also my lack of saving examples of it when I do see it and get a good laugh. Just seems that when it pops up I am busy and just don’t have that few seconds to copy it down and save it somewhere for later archiving because I’m browsing wholesale appliances or pulling Ebay scams, or something.

So…this request is to share with me and others examples of this you have seen so we can all get some laughs and possibly ideas of future social media network trolling.

Follow the trail…poor kid…hurr durr father

Perfect lesson for not being an idiot on the internet.

Oh and this is great:

Now, you probably want to go off and do it immediately because you love the pain, but if you actually ever do get laid put more thought into it. Do you think ladies like the taste of Axe body spray? Do you want a blow job, with extra effort? Do you want your BJ finished? Quit putting rank ass stuff on your nuts that will immediately end your BJ. Wash your balls regularly and splash some powder down there to keep them things from getting musty.

So…all of us with a Fat PS3, the new Slim ones were fine, had our dates set to December 31, 1999! No big deal you say, and it really wasn’t THAT big a deal, but it had a few other problems while we waited for the clocks to flip over to March 2nd and fix itself.

This is where the real hilarity ensued for me anyways. First of all, EVERY game you tried to play on ApocolyPS3 day would delete all your trophies for that game. Just gone. So let’s say you just got a Platinum Trophy on the best game in forever Demon’s Souls you lost that bitch the second you started the game…

Of course when the clock flipped all was well for most people. Well…some. If you synced your trophies recently you got them all back, but if you didn’t, you are screwed. IF you did all you have to do is put the game in and lad them up and then re-sync with the server and the magically appear again in tact. If you didn’t sync them they are gone forever.

The RAGE people had over this the next day was just high comedy. PArents probalby wish they had taken out a bigger life insurance on the kid. Look at this fat asshole:

Especially for one game in particular that I noticed because it was the one I had been playing. Bioshock 2. You see like other idiot game developers such as say Rockstar and GTA IV, they added a bunch of ONLINE multi-player trophies for you to get if you wanted platinum. Dumbest shit ever since half the people online are just there to boost and get their damn trophies. Why Bioshock 2 is unique is that it has 4 trophies that rely solely on your online rank. You get 1 for Level 10, 20, 30, and 40.

You can guess what happened. People playing Bioshock 2 during the ApocolyPS3 lost all their trophies just like everyone else, but a few people could actually play online that day (some peopel couldn’t even play games OFFLINE that day). During that time they could level up and many passed one of those trophy levels and got them that day. Since they weren’t synced they might be Level 23, but they don’t have their Level 20 trophy anymore which means they are SCREWED. You can’t go back at this point. You can never get it again unless you sign in with another PSN ID, which means you have to get all the trophies again, and your precious Platinum won’t be on your account you always use.

Even if Sony is a bunch of douches, at least the makers of BS2 care a little bit, although they have no idea how to fix it. IF you have the problem read this thread on their forums and see if they ever come up with a solution .

In the case of the Communion Wafer (Communion wafers represent the Body of Christ in a Christian Religion. Extremely holy), we see some fascination common purchases by the wafer customer.

It takes a customer review to point out the hilarity many times, and Amazon reviews are hilarious many times as you might remember from the 3 Wolf Moon T-shirt.

In the case of the Communion Wafer, this review was found to be most helpful:

I can’t be the only one to have noticed this…, January 13, 2010
By An Inquiring Mind
…but isn’t interesting that the same guys buying communion wafers are also ardent purchasers of astroglide?

Just sayin.

As you can see by the comments, there are more than a few that have poked their jabs at the Catholic priests, and any other aspect of Christianity. Why this is so funny is because Astroglide is LUBE. You know, if you know anything about lube that t is used to make teh sex a little bit more slippy slidey.

Why lube and Christianity together is comical is well…because Christianity goes out of its way to make sure that everything related to sexuality is considered sinful. Sexual thoughts, sex for pleasure instead of pro-creation, masturbation is a huge no-no. The Catholic religion in particular makes sex something that any good Catholic should feel guilty about at all times, and surely will get them sent to hell if they even think about it. That’s right, you can’t even lust after a hot woman if you are Catholic because god will know you are and that is a sin. Makes you wonder why they even buy things like anti wrinkle face cream and super sweet clothes to look impressive at church on Sundays.

Besides the Astroglide being a top customer purchase by those who want Jesus in a cracker box, it appears that even the most devout followers (you must be devout if you are actually buying Christ wafers aren’t you?) have some misgivings about their faith. They are breaking a major law of the Bible and looking into FALSE GODS! Yes, that’s right. One of the other purchases are The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! A false religion that was invented by people that are atheist to make fun of other religions.

and of course good Christians can’t possibly forget about the Jesus Killer Jews now can they? This has to be some sort of sub-conscious purchase here. Customers also bought the DVD entitle “Holocaust”…LMAO

There are plenty of other great reviews on the Communion Wafers page, so spend some time there checking them out. I just posted the “Most helpful” review, but others have joined seeking attention as well.

While I wasn’t actually surprised I had never thought of looking at the IMDb boards when a celebrity dies. I have written before saying that the dumbest people on the internet frequent IMDb.com and that it was a troll paradise, but even I didn’t think of something this bad. I’ve seen people doing things like talking about selling international travel insurance on there when someone got into a plane crash, but it never really lasted very long. Now every celeb death on there ends up being compared to Michael Jackson and people talk about who’s death was a bigger deal. I mean serious, there are people that actually think Brittany Murphy was a bigger deal than Michael Jackson.

While most of them were pretty weak, one guy had me rolling pretty hard. It wasn’t really “trolling” as it was just funny. Odds are the guy was completely full of crap, but someone posted a few pics of Brittany from movies she was in where she was dead in the picture. Some idiot was asking if they should report the pics to IMDb so they would take them down (LMAO).

Anyways, this guy comes in and ask if there are anymore. Someone calls him sick and then he just goes on to talk about how he has Level 2 Necrophilia (sex with dead people…dar) and that he gets off when someone catches him. Preferably the family/friends of the deceased. It was just so over the top I laughed out loud.

It is actually still going on over there. People have been trolling the site for a good few days now and even over Christmas. It’s starting to get rather sad actually. These guys aren’t funny trolls at this point. They are certifiable.

I think the article that finally sold me on Pathologic (PC) was this review from Eurogamer (Dude knows how to sell a game) that I stumbled upon. It is probably now considered the unofficial sales pitch for Pathologic I would guess.

This game is an absolute disaster. It is supposedly an award winning Russian game that they dubbed in English eventually. Very poorly mind you. I started playing this game and spent about 2 hours going WTF? as I wandered around this crazy ass town. Then I died and realized that I never saved so I had to start over at the beginning…LOL

So I did, and forgot to save again after another hour. Finally, I decided it would make sense to save a bit and I didn’t have to watch the 10 minute intro again and a again. I grabbed some stuff out of barrels that I don’t know what they are for. Not knowing what any of it was for. Talked to some whacked out kids and told them I would kill some people for them. Killed random people on the street because they wanted to kill me for some reason. I think THEY thought I killed some other guy, but that guy was actually me FATHER.

I have no fucking idea what I’m even doing in this game to be honest. Graphics are absolutely terrible. I keep dying because I either die of hunger because NOBODY int he town will sell my any goddamn food, there is no food lying around, sometimes I die because I just get “too tired”, but when I try to sleep so I don’t die of that I die because of hunger. I am screwed. I don’t know where the hell to get FOOD.

yeah…yeah…find a walkthrough. I hate using walkthroughs while playing PC games because you gotta ALT+TAB out of the game all the ime and games as horrible as these always crash. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t send it back because I didn’t buy it where I could get a receipt out of a receipt printer…I can’t quit.

^^WTF man? It’s not even blood. It’s dried PAINT…haha

I would post all the game controls, but it would just be a waste of time since each character has their own special moves. On the main screen after the intro it has a link for “Instructions” and you can look at all the moves for each character individually. They also have Mortal Kombat style finishing moves from what I can ell, but I have yet to pull one off (I didn’t try too hard. I had to find some new auto insurance and was wasting time…lol)