If you don’t watch the series LOST you are probably a tool. If you do, and you spend all day on the internet, you are probably even worse than that. Your rage and fanaticism is probably so high that you probably think every time you type a paragraph you are keeping electromagnetic energy from crashing an airplane while you wheeze next to your basement dehumidifier.

Well…after the episode Across the Sea this week, people have gone into seizures about how they hate it. They have just taken out every frustration they have ever had while watching the show and went off. The internet and LOST is a virtual war of whiners this week. Of course, when people can’t control themselves you get to see some funny stuff so I plucked a couple funny things out that made me laugh from the week so far.

This first one is from a person on the forums at DarkUFO (This site is like LOST central with future spoilers, and rabid fans who want to see the damn OUTRIGGER SCENE@ OMG I WILL KILL MYSELF IF I DON’T KNOW WHO WAS SHOOTING AT THEM IN THE OUTRIGGER IT IZ SO IMPORTANT TO EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE. ehem…sorry about that.):

My experience with LOST goes something like this….

LOST: So there’s this Island, and it’s special, see. Time travel, polar bears, whispers, smoke monsters…

ME: Tell me more.

LOST: Let’s ask the Dharma Initiative! Mysterious group of scientists, led by Alvar Hanso, searching for some unfathomable secret, with all their cool, 1970s-era technology. Cool, right?

ME: Yes! But what is the secret they are after?

LOST: You should ask the Others, they know. The Others have been around forever. At first they looked like savages, but — surprise! They have modern ways and means. New Otherton, Mittelos Biotech… yes, sir, the Others are where it’s at. Ben is the leader and he knows everything.

ME: Great… so what does Ben know?

LOST: Huh? Ben? He’s actually pretty in the dark. The real big dogs here are Widmore and Eloise! They have all the answers!

ME: Super. Let’s have more Widmore and Eloise, then!

LOST: Sorry, no time for that. We’re going back to the ’70s, when the Dharma Initiative was still around. Neat, right?

ME: Very. So the Dharma Initiative, they were…

LOST: Uhhh… just some scientists, i guess. They wanted to harness the electromagnetic energy for research, time travel, that sort of thing. Anyway, they are scientists, based in Ann Arbor. That’s about it.

ME: Oh…. so what about Alvar Hanso? He must have some grand design, right?

LOST: Who? Alvar what-now? Nah, look, i’ve just been messing with you. Let’s cut to the chase, time is running out. It’s all about Jacob and his brother, Smokey. They are immortal! They play an epic game! There are rules, candidates, loopholes! Everything that has happened so far is because of them! Jacob and Smokey!

ME: Great! Let’s learn about them!

LOST: Well… Jacob is just doing what his mother told him to do. He doesn’t know why, really. His mother’s dead. Smokey wants to leave the Island. That’s about it.

ME: That’s it?

LOST: Well, there’s this light, see, this golden light underground. It’s all the goodness in the world. But it turns people bad. It kills you, or makes you live forever. Something. It must be forever guarded but never used. It’s inside everyone but can’t be touched. Light! Light! Pretty light!

ME: …..this is getting lame.

LOST: LOL, PARALLELUNIVERSE! EVERYTHING DIFFERENT! WHAT IF LOCKE HAD HIS DAD BUT HIS DAD WAS RETARDED? WHAT IF CHARLIE STILL DID DRUGS? HOW IS JACK’S BABBY FORMED?

ME: >__<

And here is the LEAKED LOST FINALE (This is not real so there are no spoilers you idiot if you think it was real you should be ashamed)

Everything else can be explained by Insane Clown Posse.

The new Chuck Norris of the internet is now The Epic Beard Man. Born from a simple phone video cam as he breathes hellfire on his enemies on a city bus. The Epic Beard Man was taunted by a hood rat on an AC transit bus once, and now no one will ever taunt the Beard Man again.

Of course once the video hit Youtube he became a legend. It has spawned many variations from a Techno Remix giving advice, to a Mortal Kombat edition. Pull down your blinds and hide under your bed. The Epic Beard Man is not to be looked in the eyes.

Epic Beard Man Is Born (w/ Subtitles + Bonus Video)
:

Epic Beard Man Mortal Kombat Edition (Flawless Victory):

Since the Epic Beard Man strikes fear into all, and you can not get him out of your mind, you will find yourself making doodles such as these.

It has been only about 2 weeks since Kanye West crashed the award speech of Taylor Swift on the MTV Video Music Awards and the “Imma Let You Finish” fad has reached mighty proportions already. If you have no idea why you are seeing people troll you on message boards, or even offline lately with the “Yo…I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but…” line, it is time that you pay attention because Rick Astley’s Rickrolls have some competition in Fadville.

While Taylor Swift was giving her speech for the Best Female Video Award at the MTV VMAs last week, Kanye West stormed the stage, grabbed the mic, and said the now infamous lines:

“Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of da best videos of all times. Of All Times!”

See video here as MTV is mean and won’t let people post it anywhere.

LOL…one of da best rants of all times.

So…on we go. Every geek with MS Paint, or Photoshop has made a pic with this on it and Kanye interrupting a great feat in history.

It’s to the point where you can see these in every other topic on more loose boards. There are so many out there that I can’t even post them all. The most famous thus far are probably the Patrick Swayze death interruption saying the Michael Jackson had the best death this year, The second Kanye, Berlin Wall, etc. They will go on for years now. This is a fad that will never die. Expect to see a YTMND like site popping up soon. Actually it appears someone must have bought immaletyoufinish.com and reditrected it to this KanyeGate site which has 100s of Kanye Imma Let You Finish pics. Not sure why dude didn’t just use the actual url…? Someone Beat him to it using IMAletyoufinish.com. Who will win the war? I’m going with Imma. Imma is the right one .

This video shows most of the early ones with a new APT track called “Imma Let You Finish”:

I know u just lost a lot of weight and gained it back Oprah, and imma let you finish, but deez diet pills hooked me up.

I saw this quote on the internet and have to say I do not agree:

“Seems the standards for getting your mind blown have dropped since the days of Einstein and Godel.”

For many years it is well accepted that many things blow your mind on the internet. A topic featuring the title: MIND=BLOWN should result is many, many examples of such a thing.

For example, the first post of a thread:

Miles Prower = Miles Per Hour

OMG MIND=BLOWN

While your mind doesn’t actually explode the saying is meant to take something you probably take for granted and look at it more critically. Finding something in it that may not have been intended, but did show up in the result.

Take this infamous MIND=BLOWN image:

It is a logo of the Nintendo Gamecube in which the “G” has a “C” inside of it. Completely mind blowing to a child of 11 sitting on his discount classroom furniture.

More examples:

-The bushes in Super Mario Bros are recolored clouds.
-
-OMG, he’s called Dr. EGGman because he’s fat and shaped like an egg!!
-Arcticdos!
Zaptres!
Moluno!
-All of the pokemon towns in the Kanto region were named after colors (hence the name Pallet town).

As you can see there are many things that can blow your mind. I believe this deserves more exploration, and plan to do so in the future after taking a lot of medication.

Yup…it is getting closer. The end of the world. 2012 is coming and everyone is predicting it will be our demise.

This is one of the dumbest conspiracies out there, and has been for ages. Unfortunately it is picking up more and more on message boards these last couple years due to it only be a few years away.

What is “2012″? First of all, it is bullshit. If you are dumb enough to believe it then by all means keep doing so and do it publicly so that I can scratch you off my “people to talk to list”.

Now what is it actually from the standpoint of believers? In the basic sense it has something to do with the Myan Calender. IT is believed by people that know little to nothing about it that on December 21st, 2012 A.D.at exactly 12:11 ET the world will end. Why? Because the Myan Calender ends of course…DUH

OF course this really isn’t true in any sense. While I find this topic fascinating and really really think that all these things will happen I am not about to write all the rubbish associated with it here. Instead you can go off and read about it from either the believers, or the people that think those people are quacks.

Here are some of the “believer” sites out there:

Oh for fucks sake…Are you kidding me here? There is actually a movie out called 2012? A big budget movie? Actually looks kind of good…lol Here is the trailer.

This person either wants to scam you by playing on your beliefs (Like Alex Jones), or they truly believe it. Either way it is a good site for this crap.

This is just a list of the prophecies associated with it from the Wiki community.

A lot of information here. Odds are they are full of crap too and are just doing this to make money . Kind of like the majority of conspiracy whackos are, but you idiots still think it is true. If you believe Loose Change you will believe anything so I am assuming you believe in 2012.

Somewhat Sane People:

Here is someone that talks about the calender in the real sense and not the crackpot sense.

This site is actually really good. It has articles about almost all aspects of the 2012 crackpot theories and disputes them one by one with something really crazy…..SCIENCE….ooooh scary. They also throw in a little humor here and there and make you feel like an idiot if you actually believe in the 2012 voodoo. Well done, sir.

Now you have your truth. Well…one side does and the other is “crazy”. Each side is different depending on which group “sold” you enough on it being real, or BS. Kind of like religion >:). I think I’ll worrry more about immediate help like losing some weight with Anoretix diet pills. If you want to live in fear then have at it . I for one have a Vault Tec Vault, a Pip Boy 3000, and no fear of killing Super Mutants so I’m all set.