Basically, it works in Chrome and Safari as far as I can tell. It’s not the same edition as the Firefox one to my knowledge. So what was it like? Frankly, it was creepy as hell. Almost every picture was some freaky cat pic. Not cute kitty pictures of any sort. It was all like mean looking cats, or really ugly cats. It was really bad IMO. I turned it off after an hour since it was giving me bad vibes. If someone is gonna do this pick good looking cats for god sakes MIRITE?

So I figured I’d give a shout out to QuickMeme for once so you could help build the massive collection of captioned photos online and maybe create the next stupid meme. My personal favorites has always been “First World Problems“. You know people that have basically nothing to complain about getting upset about minuscule life dealings in between ordering pool fencing for their backyard pools.

Eventually after a bit of searching on not just Youtube, but Google I came to figure out that the actual song was called Ieva’s Polka, and that it had become some random sensation where it would be remixed hundreds of times. The Wiki article is pretty interesting on the history of its popularity.

The original performance here:

was heard by some anime fan and they decided to clip it and use it to make the video below.

This was the original Orihime Inoue from Bleach video:

This remix I think is the best, but the video makes it more than anything.

While I know I could just steal the audio from the Youtube video I saw in the comments that some dude named Beatnick was the one that made this version. After a bit of searching around I found the website here and was able to download it, but not before he gave me a pop up that described how he made the song and the history of it being stolen from him and claimed by another. (To download that song do the right-click save as angle. Don’t click the link as it will just start playing)

Interesting little internet history I must say. Now I have it on my iPod for my in ear headphones listening pleasure.

From a trolling perspective it is one of the most difficult to recognize. Not for everyone, but there are quite a few people that can’t pick up on this kind of parody. Well…if you spend enough time online you probably already realize that a significant portion of the morons that watch and read stories of this nature can’t tell if it is real. Satire and parody for many is just as foreign as another language it appears online.

Anyways, Poe’s Law states (From RationalWiki):

“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

Again, according to RationalWiki, Poe’s Law was originally formulated by Nathan Poe in August 2005. The law emerged at the Creation & Evolution forum on the website Christianforums.com. Like most such places, it had seen a large number of creationist parody postings and these parody posts were usually followed by at least one user starting a flame war (a series of angry and offensive personal attacks) thinking it was a real post. Nathan Poe summarized this pattern in his original formulation of the law mentioned above.

While that is an apt definition, I have already stated that people can’t even tell what satire is most of the time, so this definition may be a little loose, and not really describe this as well as it could.

This “Law” is almost exclusively related to religious fundamentalism, although it has expanded since that original statement was made. Taking on any maniacal fundamentalism.

So the recent post I made has a girl that whipped out her camcorders at the bottom shoeing a perfect demonstration of Poe’s Law.

For even more in depth examples of this check here. If you are bored and want to see some people that have taken it to another level just go visit the Landover Baptist Church forums and read.

919, or seen sometimes as (919) is nothing more than a very simple, and very quick rating system for a female. Sure you could use it to rate a male, but it is mainly, and supposed to be used to rate females exclusively.

As you probably guessed this numbering system was likely taken from the area codes of phone numbers and just translated to rate the looks of a woman. If you guessed that the 1 had something to do with a personality or something, think again. Men don’t care about that.
stainless steel barrels at drumsofsteel.com

Here are what the numbers mean:

First number (0-9) – used to rate the woman’s face. 0 being the worst, and 9 being the perfect face.

Second Number (0, or 1) – Used solely to determine if you want to have sex with said person. 1 being a yes, and 0 being a no. If you are a real freak of a man you may use 1 for every female you rate. The most apt way to describe this notion is that the women who rate very low in the other 2 numbers, but still get a 1 here can be classified in a couple ways as listed below:

1. Slump Buster: Made famous by Chicago Cubs 1st Baseman, Mark Grace, a slump buster is used when you need to get some superstition in your life. Having sex with a very fat, or ugly woman is no less than “Taking one for the team”. This should help in his case to hit better in his games and get off his “slump”. For regular Joes this is mostly related to not getting laid in a REALLY long time. So they just bang anyone that says yes no matter the disfigurement in hopes this will break them out of their slumps. “Taking one for the team” for a normal guy is just doing a buddy a favor and usually you will be getting a beast in the process.

   If asked about any of the above situations your reply should always be: “Fat girls need lovin’ too.”

2. Nobody is ever going to know: It means what it says. If you happen to be out at some hick bar in a town you aren’t from you can get away with it. On a business trip? Nobody is ever going to know.

Third Number (0-9) - This number is for the body. 9 being the most perfect obviously.

So…while the middle number is probably redundant considering that if a female ranked a 919 has a perfect face AND body, only a eunuch would claim not to want to have sex with her, it is still used. Mainly I believe for those guys that have freaky tastes like fat girls. You might rate someone like Star Jones, or Orprah a 417 if you are a lover of big girls. She may not be pretty, but you like the motion of the ocean.

Quite a subjective scale obviously. We all have different tastes. Some may be huge fans of freckles and give the face a little bump for that. Others may like big ol booties, while others like them a bit more firm. Arguments can ensue over such tastes, but that middle number is almost always going to be a solid 1 no matter who it is.

Who is my 919?

Adriana Lima yeah baby

Recently, Sheen and the show producers/directors/creators, or whatever the hell the fight was with got pissed at each other and started talking trash in the press back and forth. Sheen won hands down. The comments from the show people I don’t even care about. Most of Sheen’s I don’t either. What I do care about is this:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…

Charlie Sheen

How can you not support someone that talks trash like this? Fire breathing fists should be a nice meme. Here’s his entire radio rant on Alex Jones. lol @ Alex Jones. Talk about crackpots.

While we are oon the subject of Two Men and some fat kid, it looks like someone hacked in through the digital video cables at the network and leaked the Two and a Half Men Finale. Top 10 of all time? I say yes.

YES! Tawainized!

Like many, I don’t even know anything this dude sings. Nothing. I see him and just move on, or stop listening. I have no reason for it. I just know that he is everywhere and he is basically gone from me not knowing who he is to background noise.

Regardless of me not knowing anything of his talents I still find the entire concept of him fascinating from an internet standpoint. While teen heartthrobs have been around forever, there has never been a perfect storm such as this one where a guy became known from just a few Youtube videos (which basically made him internet boomstick all by itself) to th most talked about person in the world. For like 2 years.

I actually kind of admire his scam. His team of marketing guys have trolled the holy hell out of everyone and gotten this guy more exposure than anyone I can ever remember. The fact that he rarely has negative press for being a jackass makes it even more astounding considering that he probably has a camera inside his brain monitoring his thoughts and turning them into waves of teen sex candy that is then emitted to every satellite in the universe and burned into homes and brains with super space age technology microchips that are inhaled through the ventilation systems in every public school. Yup. That is real.

What is most disturbing about all this is the amount of RAGE this guy instigates. 12 year-old fangirls are understandable. They are just easily influenced and coming into horniness. The sad part is that people of all ages spend more time talking smack about this guy than they do anything else. I wouldn’t be shocked to see the number of the new best desktops being tossed and kicked to pieces being in the thousands with the excuse being: Justin Bieber.

Just look at his new movie on IMDb.com. While I have already posted about people on IMDb being the dumbest people on the internet, this page and its message board may make you stab yourself reading it. It is the culmination of everything stupid that ever stupided in history of stupid.

Not only do the haters spend as much, if not more time hating him than the blind fans do loving him, they even put in the effort to make sure that this movie is the lowest rated of all-time. A few days ago the movie was rated a 1.4/10. Today it is rated at an astounding 1.1/10. It is unfathomable how this is actually possible really considering that this guy has so many fans.

It isn’t possible to get a rating this low just from a bunch of kids either. GROWN men and women literally have to be part of the campaign to rate down a movie by a 16 YEAR OLD KID to get the score this low. Unless you want to blame /b/ for it all, but seriously they can’t take credit for this.

IMDb will eventually say it’s a documentary and it won’t be eligible for the “250 Worst”. Making the whole campaign (yes there is a campaign on the message board here with hundreds of messages. Turn your brain to goo by reading it) even more absurd, and painful to watch.

This is so disgusting that there is literally a topic on that board right now titled: “Justin Bieber is sleeping at the back of the bus, you have a knife …” with the message saying “What would you do?”. Can you believe this crap? I don’t care how morbid your sense of humor is, I’m not sure you are mentally fit to post on a message board if these are your thoughts.

If it wasn’t so incredibly sad, I might find these haters something to laugh at. I just can’t though. If there was ever a case of group think it would be this.

This is a great moment in human psychology and its history. This case is so extreme that it may be appropriate for books to be written about how insane these people are. I actually have a short story in mind for it if I ever feel like writing it one day…which is probably never.

He took some shots at celebs that really haven’t even been that relevant in recent years for what he was talking about. Guys like Charlie Sheen picking up hookers, Robert Downey Jr. being a drunk and drug addict, etc. This stuff is so OLD! Can’t see how anyone would be offended except maybe that the jokes were too old for them.

Anyways, it almost is like just because of the backlash many people all of a sudden think he is awesome. Dude has been around forever. Not like this is even close to the best stuff he has done. While Americans may not like his ORIGINAL version of The Office as much as the U.S. version he still has quite a bit of other material out there. A lot of standup that is actually “Funny” compared to the Golden Globes rubbish. He was even in GTA IV in the comedy club. He’s also a pretty outspoken atheist which a lot of people may have seen from him too. HE has a few mediocre movies. Nothing memorable IMO. Better than a le creuset cookware infomercial surely, but not a buy DVD type.

I guess I’m more annoyed than anything about all the praise and the backlash he’s getting. It deserves neither.

Anyways, I thought I’d post a couple funny Gervais clips. The first one isn’t really stand up, or anything. It’s just him hanging out with Elmo from Sesame Street and is hilarious. Second one is some stand up comedy to give you an idea of why nobody should be surprised with his GG jokes.

—–

I’m sure there are memes out there about this awards appearance, but I’m not wasting my time looking for them.

So what the hell is “Troll Physics”? Also known as “Troll Science” it is a ridiculous look at pseudo-science that answers the greatest questions in human history in he comic adventures of Trollface:

While I could talk about the scientific adventures of Trollface and his endeavors into Life, the universe, and everything, I think I will just hand it over to a much more cleverly worded description of this fad to Encyclopedia Dramatica. I am going to play with my ps3 bundle and try to figure out how to get all the crap off my old PS3 and unlock the great world of protected save files made so losers can’t copy other loser’s save files and get mindless trophies!

Such experiments have led to amazing discoveries of methods of creating infinite energy, infinite money, as well as successful human time travel, among other things. It often features in 4chan threads, often to the delight of the retarded inhabitants there, who will often believe they have stumbled upon a genius idea.

I have seen people claim that this fad started as late as November 2010, but this is absurd. Trollface has been around since the internets. 4chan just never found him and science combined together a fad until then I guess and this is where the name of “Troll Physics” started to roll into everyday meme land.

What makes for a high rated Youtube comment? Watching a video and then posting lines from the video word for word, but only after saying something like “I liked the part when he said…”, and this usually ends up being the funniest line in the video. (ie. I liked the part when he said I like Turtles”) This is by far the most liked kind of comment on Youtube. Every popular video will either be this or just a plain direct quote of a line from the video.

Ever notice videos where they have 300 likes and the comment isn’t one of these lines, while basically every other comment has no likes, or just a couple? Obviously nobody likes this comment that much.

I believe, and I have tested this before, that if you go to the “view all comments” page and just start pounding on the like button for a comment over and over and over, that Youtube actually counts it. I am not making this up. I have seen it countless times and even tried it from different locations just to see if it works. Obviously if you are on the same computer/IP address you may think it is just fooling you that it counted them all. I have done it at different locations and seen it show up at the other under a different account. Try it yourself and let me know how it works. “I like turdholes” on a video about double rainbows being the #1 comment isn’t possible otherwise. Might be possible on a video about say….dual diagnosis, but not Double Rainbows OMG SO INTENSE!

Other high quality comment like situations are out there, but that is #1 by far.

Another top one is “X# of people missed the like button because…”, or the variation of “X# people got ______ by whoever is in the video doing something awesome” implying that the people are idiots and the person doing the awesome did it to them so they are “u mad”. OR “X# of people are justin beiber/Twilight fans”

“Thumbs up if you are viewer number 657,000″ or any number if a video all of a sudden is broken and it doesn’t count views anymore appears.

“Thumbs up if you like this videoz!!1!!1″

“The best part was when it was over”

“Twilight sucks” is gold for dozens of thumbs up.

“Justing Bieber is gay” is good.

“Fake and gay”

By all accounts you must stay away from these 3 types of comments:

1. Love it. Check out my vids here: ht t p : / / ww w. y o utu b e.co m/ ineedtodie

2. Any comment that says you like to do porn, pose nude, etc. and you are ugly as hell.

3. Any variation of the chain letters (click here for list of them):

“Because you have opened this… you will get kissed on the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life… if you don’t break the chain. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. However, if you don’t send this to at least 10 people by the stroke of midnight tonight you will be forever cursed in love. Just copy and paste this.. Good Luck!”

So…this is my “off the top of my head” list of comments I see on every video with over 50,000 views, as well as how to scam the comments theory I have. If you have more like “This is REAL music not like this Lil’ Wayne, 50 cent BS….” I would love to hear them. Happy commenting.