The internet gets pretty intense at times. So much so that you may not even be able to string together words to show your RAGE at a troll, or someone else that is too stupid to write a complete sentence. This is when you show your true laziness and just go with the things that make the internet great. Nothing words.

When someone is saying things that are so stupid you can’t even comprehend them enough to respond it is time to use terms that make no sense. Like grunts and noises in word form. Also, it is used for terrible insults that are so bad that you don’t even care to respond like a human. Like some guy telling you “Ur Mom”, or get some quick weight loss tips tubby”. Here are two examples of these words:

“Hurr Durr“: Just say it. Doesn’t it sounds like it hurts? It should hurt if you do it right. Nothing shows more disgust than using this term. It shows you just can’t even lower yourself to make a coherent response.

“DAR, or dar, or darrrr“: Literally the same meaning as “hurr durrr” , but a slight variation and much faster. String together more R’s to drive your point home. Maybe even holding down R for 10 lines of a message box.

Sometimes something is funny. Well slightly amusing. Sick of “lawling, and lulzing”? It wasn’t really that funny was it? Just say what you really did:

“Heh”

Did someone think they said something clever, or funny? Did you watch something that you thought might be entertaining, or play a game you thought you would like, but were totally underwhelmed? IS whatever it is the definition of mediocrity? This is when you just use this term to display your disgust at wasting your time:

“Meh”

Nothing words. The way the internet should be because the words look like they sound.

The word fap won’t be left to your imagination anymore should you run a crossed it after this explanation. It may be an acronym for hundreds of organizations, or goofball slogans, but on an internet message board it has an entirely different meaning. The word fap is a verb in most cases that signifies male masturbation. It is used by immature youngsters on message boards where the traditional masturbation slang terms have been flagged by the administrators. So to allow users to talk about the popular subject of masturbation some bozos introduced the word fap into the internet vocabulary just so they could bypass word censors on their favorite sites. People who use this term typically will show a wide range of criminal activity on their Background Checks. They are perverts.

The word can be used several ways like the “F” word, but it isn’t quite that diverse as it hasn’t been around long enough to have hit such a mass usage. Let’s go to the vulgar examples:

Example 1: Did you see those Adriana Lima pics? *fap fap fap*

Example 2: Tom faps 6 times a day.

Example 3: My mom walked in while I was fapping to Anime.

Example 4: My science professor faps to pictures of black holes.

The “O RLY!?”, “Ya RLY”, and “No Wai!” images in my header actually have a background that I don’t think i have shred before. All those phrases of course are a great internet fad. They are really just an easier way to type such words, but they look a lot better, and ultimately show that you are a true internet veteran when used.

Before the history let’s use a few examples:

Poster 1: Anyone know where I can find a site that I can see letters to creditors?
Poster 2: letters to creditors
Poster 1: O RLY!?
Poster 2: YA RLY!
Poster 1: No WAI!

Poster 1: What’s your most embarrassing moment?
Poster 2: Last week when I was making out with my boyfriend I queefed.
Poster 1: O RLY!? <_<
Poster 2: Ya rly.
Poster 1: No WAI!

Poster 1: I like to fap at least 8 times a day.
Poster2: O RLY? 0_o
Poster 1: Ya rly.
Poster 1: No wai!

The phrase "o rly?" was used on the Something Awful Forums at least as early as August 2003. The original "O RLY?" Snowy Owl (in my header) image macro is based on a photo taken by nature photographer John White, which he posted to the newsgroup alt.binaries.pictures.animals in 2001. The snowy owl image was Photoshopped on 4chan after the word filtering of the word "repost" to "owl". The owl image macro was posted or linked to on other websites, spawning many more image macros involving owls, notably those with "YA RLY" and "NO WAI". Also, represented in my header.

You have to be one crazy internet user to put up a post with a picture of your girl/boyfriend in it and ask other users to rate them out of 10. Don’t you know that everyone on the internet only dates models? Don’t you know that everyone is cooler than you? You could have a hot female that also runs systems management admin and plays video games but all these geeks have had better. In fact they wouldn’t even touch this girl that likely is a 7 or 8 out of 10 to anyone who isn’t living a lie.

The Kill it With Fire poster is pretty much the same as the Slay the Beast poster, but thinks adding this little tidbit makes them even more hardcore. If it isn’t a supermodel you are a chump. These guys have more notches on their bedposts than Wilt Chamberlain. For you that don’t know who Wilt the Stilt is and the fact that he claims he had over 10,000 women do now because I just told you. The Kill it With Fire poster is right in Wilt’s league on the internet. Had hotter, and wouldn’t touch your girl with a ten foot pole.

You may get a few perverts that tell you your girl is super sexy cool, but there won’t be many when there are internet pimps all over the place. You would be best served to show random strangers on the street a pic from your wallet to get an actual rating for your pic. Since none of these guys ever go outside that post on these boards, they never see anything but scantily clad models, and celebrities on their monitors. They are living in a dream world. Don’t subject yourself to their worthless opinions.

Kill it With Fire is not just used for insulting your significant other, however. It can be used for almost anything really when the poster is getting obnoxious and trying to show he knows some internet slang. Let’s go to the examples…

Poster 1: Look. It is tubgirl.
Poster 2: KILL IT WITH FIRE! OH NOES!

Poster 1: My fingers hurt.
Poster 2: Happy Gilmore’d

Poster 1: My car is a Ford Focus
Poster 2: KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Yup…just a stupid phrase. Destroy it with extreme prejudice. KILL IT WITH FIRE!

People seem to be unfamiliar with some common internet terms, and for some reason the FTW and FTL are a couple I’ve seen asked about regularly. The term “For the Win” comes from that silly little game show that has celebrities sitting in a big tower of Xs and O’s called Celebrity Squares. The contestants are supposed to answer whether or not they believe the celebrities explanation about something and if they are right they get themselves that square. It is marked by an X or O based on whatever they have been assigned. The goal is to win with a tic-tac-toe line by figuring out enough celeb mumbo jumbo to win the square.

Once a player has 2 X’s or O’s in a line and has an open spot to get the 3rd they will say something like “I’ll take Alf For the Win!”. If they guess right they do win. Yippie!

So that term has been taken into the internet lingo library and just shortened to “FTW”. Obviously it evolved to add on “FTL” which means For the Loss.

Some examples:

Poster 1: I just bought a new car.
Poster 2: Cars FTW!

Poster 1: I just bought a coat rack from Powell Furniture online.
Poster 2: Coat racks FTW.

Poster 1: I just ate some lard.
Poster 2: Lard FTL.

Poster 1: I am a rich kid.
Poster 2: Bragging about your money FTL.