HAs anyone noticed that since L O S T just about every show that comes out now with any “mystery” doesn’t realize what a mystery is? All of these shows come out swinging with their marketing telling us that the “mysteries will be revealed”, and the “secrets will be told” 2 episodes in like that was the only reason anyone watched Lost. All of these shows in the title (Well maybe ‘V’ shouldn’t be here except it was really stupid so I threw it in) and a few others like Persons Unknown go out of their way to let you know that they think you are way too stupid and impatient for them to build a mystery and let it flow the way it should. You have no self-control, and TV is just not for you, friend. We’re just gonna cut to the chase and explain it to you like a child, or list it like a commercial sharing allergy information.

It is no surprise that none of these shows lasted longer than a season. The mysteries were not mysteries because they told you what their great mysteries were 15 minutes into the second episode after they introduced them. No suspense at all. Here it is, wasn’t that an amazing twist! Twists…Poor mans intellectual gold.

Braodcast TV (ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CW) have absolutely no clue what a good drama is anymore. Some of these shows have as much depth as a video game story. The writing is about as good too. STop it please.

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The Simpsons didn’t always look like they did today. They weren’t always a 30 minute sitcom either. WAy back before they were a sitcom they showed up on The Tracy Ullman Show in the form of shorts. The Tracy Ullman Show was one of the thousand sketch shows over the years, but will forever be known as the launching pad for The Simpsons.

If you are a big Simpsons fan you have undoubtedly seen the very early stuff. It was terrible. Every voice of the characters sounded like they were a narcoleptic the few seconds before their 20th nap of the day. It was so bad that had to be intentional. I’d rather sell city mini stroller than watch it again.

Of course the show still got big even with it being this awful back then. 500+ episodes later and it is still running weekly. The longest animated series of all-time in prime time.

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Not sure why I didn’t post this back when I talked about this show the first time, but it certainly needs to be discussed. The episode where the bike shop owner tries to molest Arnold and his friend Dudley.

In this very special episode of Different Strokes, Mr. Horton, the owner of the local bicycle shop said he would hook Arnold and his friends up with free stuff like electric grills, and ice cream if they did him “favors”. So disturbing to some it appears that they even created Facebook pages such as this one entitled : Scarred by The Bicycle Man episode of Different Strokes.

This guy even found some pic that someone probably thought was extremely hilarious. A picture of Arnold, Dudley, and Mr. Horton in a photo from the episode in which Dudley autographed it.

Here’s Part 1:

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With the announcement a month or so back that the Hey Dude series will be released on DVD, I think it is time that this show gets its well deserved induction into the Crap TV Flashbacks list. No longer needing to be stored on a data backup online to view this treasure of crap let’s get to it.

Hey Dude was a Nickelodean show, and like many, it wasn’t exactly the height of quality. While we were just kids watching these shows (hopefully), even we could tell that many of them were pretty bad. Hey Dude was one of the ones I always watched, but I just knew it was ridiculous.

The main reason I liked this show, however was that it had the hottie Christine Taylor in the cast. You may recognize her as Marcia on the new Brady Bunch movies, Zoolander as the girl in the 3-way, Dodge ball as the bi-sexual canon-arm, and most obviously she is Ben Stiller’s wife. Hey Dude was her VERY first acting role on any show. At least that is what the IMDb credits show anyways. So we got a glimpse of a future actress with a semi-successful career ahead of her playing on a ridiculous show. She was a complete goody-two-shoes on the show too, which made her later roles all that more hot.

Hey Dude aired for only 3 years from 1989 to 1991. It was Nickelodeon’s first original live action television series.

From Wiki:

The series was set on the fictional “Bar None Dude Ranch” near the city of Tucson, Arizona. It portrayed the lives of the ranch’s owner, his son, and five teenage summer employees. Hey Dude was a comedy geared towards a teenage audience.

The ranch owner was a moron. He was a classic TV dimwit that bought the Bar None Dude Ranch seeking escape from his high-pressure job as a New York City accountant. His son, Buddy, (worst TV name ever) thought this decision sucked obviously.

The workers were 4 white people and this short Native American guy. None of them could act, or the dialog just sucked so much they appeared just as bad.

I think though that if you were to compare it to something in how it was run I would say it is like Saved By the Bell on a dude ranch. It had those silly “lessons” that you got from SBtB and portrayed in a completely naive manner. Take for example this video that discusses alcoholism (Laugh track was added as a joke. Show DOES NOT CONTAIN A LAUGH TRACK):

Laugh track actually makes it better, although whoever put it in didn’t do that good of a job with it. There were quite a few moments I expected a laugh, but didn’t get one. Oh well, it is still funny to see a laugh track for serious issues.

Hey Dude Intro Credits and Theme:

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I’ll admit that I used to like this show. I didn’t think it was brilliant by any means, but I will say that I enjoyed it for the first few seasons. I actually watched the first 9 seasons straight through and didn’t watch any of it live before this final season.

Way back when Clark was in high school still with all the nodular acne kids it was alright. The old Freak of the Week episodes were decent, and the whole weirdness of Smallvielle like X Files was cool. Clark was an idiot throughout, and Superman isn’t even really Superman on this show. He’s such a moron.

The final season 10 this year has been god awful. So bad I actually stopped watching it after about 6 episodes. Whenever Lionel actually looked at the camera and talked to the audience was the last episode I saw, and I do not miss it one bit.

The absolute worst thing about Season 10 is that they still don’t let Clark fly, or put on his costume. It’s just ridiculous show slow the season has gone. For a final season they tease us all year I assume once again just like they have for 10 years. It’s an abomination of a show now.

Someone convince me that this season isn’t pure crap.

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