America Deserves to be Trolled Apparently

Spending any amount of time on major websites like Youtube, IMDb.com, Twitter, etc. you come to realize one major theme. Everyone hates the United States of America if they aren’t from there.

It is most apparent when you see some ridiculous and crazy crime. A stupid person getting caught and the story of the cover up being so pathetic that it will always get a “Stupid Americans”, or “Typical American idiot” reaction from some posters.

The best thing about this though is that they pretend that words like “typical” and pluralizing the word as “Americans” doesn’t REALLY mean MOST Americans when called out on it. They backtrack and say something moronic, but if they have any intelligence will still get a few digs in during their clearing it up. IF they can’t handle being questioned they will just start calling all Americans fat, and that we kill babies. ALL of us.

Another thing that really annoys people living outside AMERICA is that we call it AMERICA. Many a times I see a huffy response directed at someone who does like “you think you are the only America in the world?” like they didn’t just call all Americans stupid, or fat.

Of course eventually they will claim that they have been to America and liked it, but they still can’t comprehend the difference between comparing what is on he news and what they observed. So you are left with the fact that they are liars, and tell them to go away, or continue on with the meaningless argument. pool lifts

It’s an odd form of trolling I guess, but it is so prevalent that it is almost considered a cultural thing for the World vs. USA. They want to destroy their sports teams in sports Americans don’t even care about. A sport called soccer in America and football everywhere else. They call our football American Football and say it sucks no matter what even though it is one of the most watched sports around the world.

Poe’s Law

Not sure why I have never posted about this before, but until I made another post that referenced it I didn’t realize I hadn’t. So…what the hell is Poe’s Law?

From a trolling perspective it is one of the most difficult to recognize. Not for everyone, but there are quite a few people that can’t pick up on this kind of parody. Well…if you spend enough time online you probably already realize that a significant portion of the morons that watch and read stories of this nature can’t tell if it is real. Satire and parody for many is just as foreign as another language it appears online.

Anyways, Poe’s Law states (From RationalWiki):

“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

Again, according to RationalWiki, Poe’s Law was originally formulated by Nathan Poe in August 2005. The law emerged at the Creation & Evolution forum on the website Christianforums.com. Like most such places, it had seen a large number of creationist parody postings and these parody posts were usually followed by at least one user starting a flame war (a series of angry and offensive personal attacks) thinking it was a real post. Nathan Poe summarized this pattern in his original formulation of the law mentioned above.

While that is an apt definition, I have already stated that people can’t even tell what satire is most of the time, so this definition may be a little loose, and not really describe this as well as it could.

This “Law” is almost exclusively related to religious fundamentalism, although it has expanded since that original statement was made. Taking on any maniacal fundamentalism.

So the recent post I made has a girl that whipped out her camcorders at the bottom shoeing a perfect demonstration of Poe’s Law.

For even more in depth examples of this check here. If you are bored and want to see some people that have taken it to another level just go visit the Landover Baptist Church forums and read.

Females Can Troll Too

When we think of trolls, most don’t think of women. That doesn’t mean they can’t put out a solid effort every once in a while and earn a “Salute”.

Everyone has seen the latest Youtube troll I’m sure now since she actually got picked up in the trends the other day. It was the girl who uploaded a fake eHarmony bio where she talked about her love for cats. So much love that she broke into hysterics at any mention of them.

She has only 3 videos. Another is her pretending to be a siamese twin which is rather odd as well. The 3rd is a complete troll video that more or less lets anyone who was dumb enough to believe the first video was real that it isn’t. Supposedly she is a performance artist of some sort, but at the same time her 3 videos made me laugh.

This other one I hadn’t ever really talked about because I didn’t really know what to say and didn’t want to write an entire post about this girl. I just didn’t want to do any background on it and have to go dig it up. I still don’t.

Basically this girl is what people call a “POE” (I’ll just write another post about this and link it later. See if I forget :P ). Read this story on golf gps reviews golf digest in the meantime.

EDIT: I didn’t forget. Read about Poe’s Law here

Let’s just say that this is not serious. It is a troll, although 99% of those that see have no clue.

Crap TV Flashbacks: Different Strokes Bicycle Man Episode

Not sure why I didn’t post this back when I talked about this show the first time, but it certainly needs to be discussed. The episode where the bike shop owner tries to molest Arnold and his friend Dudley.

In this very special episode of Different Strokes, Mr. Horton, the owner of the local bicycle shop said he would hook Arnold and his friends up with free stuff like electric grills, and ice cream if they did him “favors”. So disturbing to some it appears that they even created Facebook pages such as this one entitled : Scarred by The Bicycle Man episode of Different Strokes.

This guy even found some pic that someone probably thought was extremely hilarious. A picture of Arnold, Dudley, and Mr. Horton in a photo from the episode in which Dudley autographed it.

Here’s Part 1:

What is a 919?

This post probably makes a lot more sense to men than women, but surely some of the people that will ultimately find this post were searching for it to see what the hell it meant right? You see as men we are quite shallow, and we don’t hide it. 919 is just another example of it.

919, or seen sometimes as (919) is nothing more than a very simple, and very quick rating system for a female. Sure you could use it to rate a male, but it is mainly, and supposed to be used to rate females exclusively.

As you probably guessed this numbering system was likely taken from the area codes of phone numbers and just translated to rate the looks of a woman. If you guessed that the 1 had something to do with a personality or something, think again. Men don’t care about that.
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Here are what the numbers mean:

First number (0-9) – used to rate the woman’s face. 0 being the worst, and 9 being the perfect face.

Second Number (0, or 1) – Used solely to determine if you want to have sex with said person. 1 being a yes, and 0 being a no. If you are a real freak of a man you may use 1 for every female you rate. The most apt way to describe this notion is that the women who rate very low in the other 2 numbers, but still get a 1 here can be classified in a couple ways as listed below:

  1. Slump Buster: Made famous by Chicago Cubs 1st Baseman, Mark Grace, a slump buster is used when you need to get some superstition in your life. Having sex with a very fat, or ugly woman is no less than “Taking one for the team”. This should help in his case to hit better in his games and get off his “slump”. For regular Joes this is mostly related to not getting laid in a REALLY long time. So they just bang anyone that says yes no matter the disfigurement in hopes this will break them out of their slumps. “Taking one for the team” for a normal guy is just doing a buddy a favor and usually you will be getting a beast in the process.

    If asked about any of the above situations your reply should always be: “Fat girls need lovin’ too.”

  2. Nobody is ever going to know: It means what it says. If you happen to be out at some hick bar in a town you aren’t from you can get away with it. On a business trip? Nobody is ever going to know.

Third Number (0-9) - This number is for the body. 9 being the most perfect obviously.

So…while the middle number is probably redundant considering that if a female ranked a 919 has a perfect face AND body, only a eunuch would claim not to want to have sex with her, it is still used. Mainly I believe for those guys that have freaky tastes like fat girls. You might rate someone like Star Jones, or Orprah a 417 if you are a lover of big girls. She may not be pretty, but you like the motion of the ocean.

Quite a subjective scale obviously. We all have different tastes. Some may be huge fans of freckles and give the face a little bump for that. Others may like big ol booties, while others like them a bit more firm. Arguments can ensue over such tastes, but that middle number is almost always going to be a solid 1 no matter who it is.

Who is my 919?

Adriana Lima yeah baby :)

919