Stuff You Shouldn’t Bother Posting On Youtube (New Idea)

Basically 95% of everything that is on there. While you see some real gems here and there it is just horrible to see what people think is interesting enough to post on youtube.

Today we are going to make some random searches and find some ridiculous and embarrassing videos of things people shouldn’t have posted. I think I will make this into a new thing because it has always fascinated me to see the oddities of people on there.

This first one isn’t really all that interesting,b ut I was thinking about this because I had this same piece of crap car so the name popped into my mind. It is the glorious Chevy Citation II. It has that “II” in it because it is twice as awesome as the “I”, although I am not sure there even was the “I”. Anyways, this guy posted a 10 MINUTE video of him just filming this old POS. I don’t even think he talks. I fast forwarded through most, but then I noticed he has a PART 2 as well. WTF is this guy doing?

ummm…yeah.

Now for a random search. Want to know where I came up with this word? I went to this random word generator website and just used the first word that came up (I switched to adjectives, next will be a noun).

The secret word is: “Narrative”

I skip to page 10 of the search results and see this title: “Neo-Noir College Narrative (HD).mov”

Yes. There is absolutely no way I can see some hipster film student title and black and white video and not watch it. Our friend has 24 views before this view. What is this I don’t even…

The next secret word is “Withdrawal”

Soemthing caught my attention right away here (linus in withdrawal-from Charlie Brown), but it is something I actually wanted to watch so it doesn’t pass the test.

Dude…sell your camera and stay away from the neighborhood playground:

My god. This is a quick one so I won’t do anymore, but I will visit this idea again with WAY better results when I have more time.

White People Doing da Stanky leg

The greatest thing about Youtube is that even if videos don’t go viral you get some pleasant surprises every now and then. Sometimes it is something that you sit and watch because you can’t believe anyone thought that what they were sharing was in any way appropriate to be shared. Stuff like some guy’s thoughts about taking a dump, or some kid singing and being awful, or some idiot making a video about how to clean an hp printers or something worthless.

The other day I saw this video below, and while the participants of the video most would say are FAILING, I say they are WINNING. In fact I wish this video was 45 minutes longer as I could watch it all day.

With Great justice

Every once in a while you hear a story of someone who takes the law into their own hands. Sometimes the results are hilarious like people wearing sexy garterbelts to entrap a vbictim. This is not one of those times. This is actually one of the stranger stories of a man taking the law into his own hands I can remember.

Apparently, this man’s daughter was raped by a few men, and she contracted HIV from one of them. The father decided that he was going to get revenge, and REVENGE is what he got.

Here is a brief breakdown of what he did:

A former rugby player has been arrested for murder and attempted murder after he allegedly went on a revenge rampage after his daughter was raped and infected with HIV.

The 34-year-old, whose identity remains unknown for legal reasons, allegedly butchered three men with an axe, and nearly killed a fourth.

One of the victims was left decapitated, and it is believed his head was found around 1.6km away from his body, Afrikaans daily Beeld reported.

One of the bodies had almost been completely decapitated, with the head “hanging by nothing more than a nerve”. full article

Do you consider this Great Justice, or horrible, horrible crimes? Maybe both?

Crap TV Flashbacks: Smallville

I’ll admit that I used to like this show. I didn’t think it was brilliant by any means, but I will say that I enjoyed it for the first few seasons. I actually watched the first 9 seasons straight through and didn’t watch any of it live before this final season.

Way back when Clark was in high school still with all the nodular acne kids it was alright. The old Freak of the Week episodes were decent, and the whole weirdness of Smallvielle like X Files was cool. Clark was an idiot throughout, and Superman isn’t even really Superman on this show. He’s such a moron.

The final season 10 this year has been god awful. So bad I actually stopped watching it after about 6 episodes. Whenever Lionel actually looked at the camera and talked to the audience was the last episode I saw, and I do not miss it one bit.

The absolute worst thing about Season 10 is that they still don’t let Clark fly, or put on his costume. It’s just ridiculous show slow the season has gone. For a final season they tease us all year I assume once again just like they have for 10 years. It’s an abomination of a show now.

Someone convince me that this season isn’t pure crap.

Bieber Wannabes: Eardrum Puncturing Horror

You aren’t a fan of Bieber’s music. I know you aren’t. You aren’t a 12 year-old girl. I am a fan of Bieber’s dominance of the world, but other than that he doesn’t enter my thoughts on a daily basis until I see the influence he has on youtube wannabes.

What do 12 year old white girls and 30 year old black men have in common? Nothing, except that the combination of the girls singing and the men rapping seem to be a combination made in heaven for the new youtube studio execs that are pumping out teen pop crap left and right trying to play the quantity over quality game in hopes to hit the mark at least once.

It seems that every horrible teen Bieber Wannabe now has a formula of singing about things such as the days of the week, eating cereal, and wearing jeans must be accompanied by a 30 year old black raper. The real horror of it all is that these rappers are so desperate to be seen that they willingly take part in these rancid videos. Sorry gents, your careers are over.

The best collection of awful music I have found on Youtube can be seen right here. It is the page for Ark Music Factory, and it has one word in its title that is a bold faced lie: “music”. Watch the video of their “Launch” and cringe away at the infectious disease that has spread among the young girls that think they have hit it big.

It isn’t relegated to one instance of a “factory” though. It can be seen all over. Daddy has $2K and has a “friend” that works in a recording studio and we are blessed with more than enough of his daughter’s ear piercing music. 5 years from now they will be dying of embarrassment and be lucky if they could get into an online nursing degree program due to how awful their Youtube careers are.

Here are a couple of the fantastically horrible videos that we have been blessed with by parents that are blind to their own child’s lack of talent.

Rebecca Black’s song was on Tosh.0 so everyone knows aobut it. It has actually hooked us up with some pretty amazing parodies. First one is classic Eazy-E/NWA, but the second is an incredible Bob Dylan cover of Rebecca Black.

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