Animals Doing Better Tricks Than Humans

Since people I post with on boards tend to pull these animal videos out every time one of our favorite teams is playing to circus music, I have seen about everything you can imagine. Of course that means I just have more awesome animal videos to post so chill out on some rustic furniture and enjoy the incredible delights of trained animals forced into the entertainment business by Russians and Chinese people.

Tiger riding a horse:

Monkey on a goat on a cup on a tightrope

Monkey riding a dog:

OK…that’s enough for now. You should be able to find more amazing animal videos on your own now.

Crap TV Flashbacks: Cavemen Part 2, Revisited, Etc.

Well I decided a couple weeks back when I found the un-aired Pilot of Cavemen on Youtube to give it a go.

By the time I got into the ORIGINAL pilot I already hated the show. The un-aired version was way better than the real pilot I saw, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot. At first it isn’t a terrible show, and I got a few chuckles out of it. Then I got to the new cast and the new California Cavemen series and I started to hate it immediately.

The original pilot was changed because there was a controversy about the show being somewhat racist towards blacks (African Americans…whatever). While you can sort of see it in the pun-aired pilot with tons of black stereotypes, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the actual show that DID air to me.

Besides not really being funny anymore a couple episodes in, I really started to notice how the Cavemen were using ALL black stereotypes to talk about themselves. While the intention may not have been racist, but it’s hilarious that anyone though that using the same stereotypes of black people for CAVEMEN was a good idea.

Anyways…this show sucks balls and really should have been canceled. I mean I wouldn’t even watch this on Youtube for free it sucks so hard. Guess I will get back to my PS3 instead of watching TV anyways as games are a more fun time waster anyways.

Some Terrible Jokes

After thinking about Last Comic Standing I figured I would think a little more about jokes. While out earlier putting in some low voltage garden lights I had some time to reflect on some of the worst jokes I’ve heard lately. Not surprisingly, it isn’t that easy to remember terrible jokes. You know…like those ones that show up on kids cereal boxes, or popsicle sticks after you eat it all and gag yourself on the wooden stick (wood makes me gag more than anything else in the universe…that’s what she said.).

Get ready to not laugh…..

Mexican weather is so predictible…
It’s chilli today and hot tamale

——
How do two snails settle their differences?
The slug it out.
——
(I actually made this up.)
Why did our uncle come over?
To molest us.

——
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
——
Two elephants walk off a cliff…boom, boom!
——
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
——
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

——
***Classic funny***
Why did the airplane crash?
Because the pilot was a tomato (carrot also acceptable).
——
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead

——
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick
——
Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to

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Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
because he had no guts.
——
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

——
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
——
Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

——
Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, “It smells fishy around here.”
——
Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh

——
How do you make a bandstand?
You take away their chairs!
——
(LMAO)
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You would too, if your name was MGHHHHHHHHUH.

—–

OK…that’s enough….

Crap TV Flashbacks: Last Comic Standing

Is this show still on? I’m really not sure. I saw it on Hulu the other day, but I didn’t look at it because of how insanely awful it was. I’m a HUGE fan of stand-up comedy. Absolutely love it. What better time is there than to go to a comedy club at 7-8 PM on a weekend and get drunk, or on a night I probably had to get up early the next day, baked out of my gord, and laugh my ass off? Perfect start to a long drunken evening out and puts you in a festive mood. There are some amazing no name comedians out there.

Anyways, when I heard about a show called “Last Comic Standing” I figured, hey they might actually have funny comedians on here and do a screening process like American Idol where we only had to watch one excrutiating episode. False. The show wasn’t even really about being funny. They may have had a handful of decent comedians show up, or pass their screening process, but they made the show to appeal to the idiots that like stuff like The Real World. Most of the comedians should ahve been selling health insurance in nc rather than competing as a comic.

Let’s see…I like comedy. I like to laugh. Do I give a rat’s ass about people living together and fighting? I want to laugh, not be pissed off.

They did actually let the better comedians knock off the token a-holes, but they still tried to manufacture drama with people that just weren’t into it. You know comedians that actually were trying to make it as COMEDIANS.

Crap TV flashbacks: Cavemen

Has there ever been another TV show that was created based on COMMERCIALS!?

Everyone loves GEICO commercials. They are clearly some of the most creative over the last decade. From the Cavemen, Gecco, and many other random funny ones I always enjoy them. Great ad team they have. Did I really want a TV show based on any of these things? No, not really.

When I heard Cavemen announced, and saw ads for it, I thought it was just another joke GEICO commercial. I bet most people didn’t realize it was going to be a series either. It was, and it lasted for only 12 episodes before it was cancelled. The series was placed on hiatus during the Writers Guild of America strike, and cancelled before the strike ended.

The premise of the show was basically the same as the commercials. Cavemen living in modern society and everyone thinks they are dumb. Trying to fit in an live like Homo sapiens. Getting into everythign they do including dating and worrying about quick weight loss.

The original pilot was never aired because it was said to be “racist” because some critics thought the Cavemen were being used as a metaphor for blacks and other minorities. The series subsequently underwent a major creative “retooling”, which included changing the show’s venue from Atlanta, Georgia to San Diego, California.

The unaired pilot can be viewed on Youtube here. In fact the entire series can be viewed there if you are interested in this piece of history.

Description of video:

“Joel, Andy and Nick are invited to a private BBQ which Kate’s parents are having. Joel attempts to get Kate’s father’s blessing for him and Kate to marry. This pilot has different actors than the show that aired. Most notably Joel’s brother Jamie. Sam Hunnington was brought in and his name was changed to Andy. Also the show was changed to being in San Diego instead of the southern United Staes. Also aspects of joels job changes. Norksbild has different colors as well. Comidian Nick Swardson is in the pilot as well as the first episode.”

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