Cool story, bro.

Yes…this has been around for years. Fortunately, it hasn’t really been considered trolling until recently on the forums I frequent. At least not OFFICIALLY a TOS violation. Now that it is…well…it makes it a more intriguing troll since you actually get “punished” for using the phrase.

If you are too dumb to understand how “Cool story, bro.” is used on a forum let me give you a quick explanation. So…some guy comes on the board and makes it into his personal blog page. Writing his whole life story, I don’t know, posting his photo birth announcements, or some crap, and it is literally a tl;dr article, that you actually did read, and then came to the conclusion that it was ridiculous. Your response is:

Cool story, bro.

A few others that could be accepted are:

-I didn’t realize this was BlogFAQs
-livejournal.com —————–>
-blogger.com is that way ————–>
-tl;dr
-nobody cares.

Oh yeah…Pretty sneaky, bro!

Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats

On the internet people think cats are the greatest thing ever. Grown men that wouldn’t even consider owning a cat in real life talk as if they are 9 year old girls when they see a pic of a kitty watching a man masturbate through a hole in the ceiling.

Dogs on the other hand are treated like they are the chosen pet of men like Hitler and Stalin. People are more likley to look at eczema pictures than they are of a dog.

Until now. This dog has won television.

Crap TV Flashbacks: Winnie Cooper

OK…this isn’t really a TV show, but considering I just saw how hot her Maxim spread was this week I may as well cater to the lowest common denominator: Tits and ass.

Winne Cooper was a character on The Wonder Years, and was played by Danica McKellar. She has more or less disappeared since then, but young boys everyone can get excited about seeing a childhood star all sexed up with little to no clothing can’t they? It just holds a special place in every boy’s heart to see one of the girls on TV shows they watched as a kid to grow up and be dirty. Maybe that is why they steal pics of them and post them on alli reviews and stuff all the time.

So…what has she been up to? After the show she got a degree in mathematics. Yes..she is hot and a huge nerd. Actually, math majors are the definition of nerd. She even writes books to help girls feel good about math. Of course to make boys feel good about math I wonder if this was her plan when she posed for Maxim. Put pics of her on every other page of my math book, and well…you might have to come up with a mathematical formula for how far I could shoot…oh wait…

Here’s a teaser (there are 5 more on the Maxim site):

Decent Wedding DJ

Are you getting married this summer. You probably need a super sweet DJ. This guy does it all. Besides playing one of the greatest songs of all time “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins, he plays a mean set of Bongos. The young lady in the video looks as if she takes a healthy amount of vitamins, and this guy obviously gets all the chicks. It’s not just about the music people. It’s about the entire experience.

A Fan’s Experience With LOST and Finale Leaked

If you don’t watch the series LOST you are probably a tool. If you do, and you spend all day on the internet, you are probably even worse than that. Your rage and fanaticism is probably so high that you probably think every time you type a paragraph you are keeping electromagnetic energy from crashing an airplane while you wheeze next to your basement dehumidifier.

Well…after the episode Across the Sea this week, people have gone into seizures about how they hate it. They have just taken out every frustration they have ever had while watching the show and went off. The internet and LOST is a virtual war of whiners this week. Of course, when people can’t control themselves you get to see some funny stuff so I plucked a couple funny things out that made me laugh from the week so far.

This first one is from a person on the forums at DarkUFO (This site is like LOST central with future spoilers, and rabid fans who want to see the damn OUTRIGGER SCENE@ OMG I WILL KILL MYSELF IF I DON’T KNOW WHO WAS SHOOTING AT THEM IN THE OUTRIGGER IT IZ SO IMPORTANT TO EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE. ehem…sorry about that.):

My experience with LOST goes something like this….

LOST: So there’s this Island, and it’s special, see. Time travel, polar bears, whispers, smoke monsters…

ME: Tell me more.

LOST: Let’s ask the Dharma Initiative! Mysterious group of scientists, led by Alvar Hanso, searching for some unfathomable secret, with all their cool, 1970s-era technology. Cool, right?

ME: Yes! But what is the secret they are after?

LOST: You should ask the Others, they know. The Others have been around forever. At first they looked like savages, but — surprise! They have modern ways and means. New Otherton, Mittelos Biotech… yes, sir, the Others are where it’s at. Ben is the leader and he knows everything.

ME: Great… so what does Ben know?

LOST: Huh? Ben? He’s actually pretty in the dark. The real big dogs here are Widmore and Eloise! They have all the answers!

ME: Super. Let’s have more Widmore and Eloise, then!

LOST: Sorry, no time for that. We’re going back to the ’70s, when the Dharma Initiative was still around. Neat, right?

ME: Very. So the Dharma Initiative, they were…

LOST: Uhhh… just some scientists, i guess. They wanted to harness the electromagnetic energy for research, time travel, that sort of thing. Anyway, they are scientists, based in Ann Arbor. That’s about it.

ME: Oh…. so what about Alvar Hanso? He must have some grand design, right?

LOST: Who? Alvar what-now? Nah, look, i’ve just been messing with you. Let’s cut to the chase, time is running out. It’s all about Jacob and his brother, Smokey. They are immortal! They play an epic game! There are rules, candidates, loopholes! Everything that has happened so far is because of them! Jacob and Smokey!

ME: Great! Let’s learn about them!

LOST: Well… Jacob is just doing what his mother told him to do. He doesn’t know why, really. His mother’s dead. Smokey wants to leave the Island. That’s about it.

ME: That’s it?

LOST: Well, there’s this light, see, this golden light underground. It’s all the goodness in the world. But it turns people bad. It kills you, or makes you live forever. Something. It must be forever guarded but never used. It’s inside everyone but can’t be touched. Light! Light! Pretty light!

ME: …..this is getting lame.

LOST: LOL, PARALLELUNIVERSE! EVERYTHING DIFFERENT! WHAT IF LOCKE HAD HIS DAD BUT HIS DAD WAS RETARDED? WHAT IF CHARLIE STILL DID DRUGS? HOW IS JACK’S BABBY FORMED?

ME: >__<

And here is the LEAKED LOST FINALE (This is not real so there are no spoilers you idiot if you think it was real you should be ashamed)

Everything else can be explained by Insane Clown Posse.

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