Reviews of the Final Season of Lost By Someone Who Has Never Seen Lost

I must admit that I haven’t actually watched Lost for 5 years. Around Christmas last year I figured it was finally time to give in and see what all the fuss was about. So I watched the first 5 seasons just in time to be ready for the Season 6 opener. Obviously I was blown away and this is one of my favorite shows ever already.

Anyone that has watched the show knows how much crazy speculation there can be among viewers. The most insane theories you can read, and you may have even wondered what someone would think if they just watched a random episode as their first Lost experience.

Wonder no more. This guy decided watch the Final Season of Lost without seeing the first 5 seasons, nor reading any background. While I think this guy actually HAS seen Lost, and is probably trying to pretend he hasn’t for comedic effect, I will let you decide. There are certain things he says, which makes me think he has seen it. Maybe you will notice some too and agree, but it is a funny read regardless. At the very least he has some pretty funny pics it looks like he made with a permanent marker and used document scanning software to post them in his blogs. They definitely add to the overall hilarity of it.

He calls Jack; Jake. This is one of the funnier parts in his description of Charlie.

The other episode feels like a Jake commercial that takes place on an airplane. This guy does it all. Gets free booze from the stewardess, makes friends with a middle aged interracial couple, saves a hobbit from choking on condom drugs;

Crap TV Flashbacks: Heil Honey I’m Home

Heil Honey I’m Home may be one of the strangest sitcoms that was ever made. I’m sure from the title of it you can surmise it is probably about Hitler. It is. It was supposed to be a parody of American sitcoms on the BBC, that had the main characters of Hitler’s Nazi party in a typical sitcom style setting. You pretty much have to get that to even think this has a chance.

Audiences were not impressed. Heil Honey I’m Home was canceled after just ONE episode.

The premise to me is sort of funny, and if you are a real crotchety bastard I can see why you would find it offensive. It really had nothing to do with Nazi propaganda, or any of that crap. It was set up like I said as a parody of American sitcoms. Hitler was the lovable husband, and working man. Eva Braun was the lovable housewife with a strong personality. They had the typical nosy neighbors who were always pissing Hitler off, and having jokes at his expense.

While produced in 1990 for the BBC, the show actually looks, and is supposed to appear like a 50′s/60′s sitcom such as Leave it to Beaver, or the I Love Lucy show. A caption at the beginning of the episode presented the series as a ‘lost’ sitcom from the 50s, recently re-discovered.

People were offended. That is understandable because most people aren’t all that bright. They called it crass, trivializing of the Holocaust, and in poor taste. The producers said that the crassness was intentional, and part of the parody anyway. I’m sure many needed an over the counter sleeping pill to get to bed that night because of their being RAGE’D.

The sitcom was written by Geoff Atkinson and commissioned by satellite television channel Galaxy, part of British Satellite Broadcasting (which later became part of BSkyB). You gotta love that someone gave this a chance, and thought people were smart enough to “get it”. I Guess that was a mistake on their part, but it is always nice when someone takes a chance.

The show is considered one of the most controversial moments in TV history. There are actually some other episodes recorded, but the pilot was the only one that has ever aired. You can judge for yourself if it crosses the line by watching the first episode below. While I think the premise is brilliant, the laughter was a bit low on my watch even though I really wanted to give it a chance. Someone took a chance and I wanted to see how their crazy idea came to fruition.

Heil Honey I’m Home (Pilot):

Crap TV Flashbacks: Melrose Place

I can barely remember this show, but what I do remember is that people used to watch it like Desperate Houswives when it was on. Melrose Place is considered part of the Beverly Hills 90210 franchise, and is basically the same show except the people are better looking and they are in their 20s instead of being teens.

It’s a bunch of hot ass people living in an apartment complex and they do stuff. They have sex mostly. Sometimes they decide to kill each other because someone had sex with someone they shouldn’t have. You know, a prime time soap opera.

The series debuted on July 8, 1992 and was an instant hit, debuting at #19 on the Nielsen ratings with a 10.3/19 share. The series finale was watched by 10.38 million viewers. Yeah…it was big shit. Heather Locklear was even nominated for like 5 Emmy Awards while this show was on.

One character I remember on the show was this dude named Jake. He was the douchiest looking guy ever, and makes me laugh when I see him still. Looks like some dude that would spend all day trying to get rid of blackheads, and then get on a motorcycle and pretend to be a badass.

Oh I forgot…Kristin Davis was on this show too before her Sex and the City Days. Apparently they dumped her because they said the audience didn’t like her character. She was a bitch I think on the show. Completely opposite her Sex and the City role.

The Melrose Place Theme is as gay as the 90210 one. Sounds almost exactly the same to me.

Crap TV Flashbacks: A Different World

While I was a huge fan of The Cosby Show, one character in particular was probably one of my least favorite characters on any show. Denise Huxtable, played by Lisa Bonet. Lisa Bonet actually only appeared on the show for one season because her and husband Lenny Kravitz were expecting a baby. This was against the morals of Cosby and the show’s audience to be an unwed mother (on the show) most likely and she was taken off for season 2. She took a year off and ended up back on the Cosby Show a year later (Oh joy).

A Different World was a show that was supposed to represent the average black college in America. The first season had a mix of white and black students (including Marisa Tomei in one of her earliest roles), but changed to a majority black cast in Season 2. A couple notable babes were on the show in Jasmine Guy and Jada Pinket (Mrs. Will Smith), as well as the comedian Sinbad.

OF course the show was pretty terrible most of the time. When your main character after Lisa Bonet left was called Dwayne Wayne and he wore flip up sunglasses 24/7 you know the show is pretty lame. HE was like some sort of seo software expert or something. No idea. Maye it was a lunchroom counselor.

While it was a spin-off from the Cosby Show, A Different World typically addressed issues that were avoided by the Cosby Show writers (race and class relations, the Equal Rights Amendment). One episode that aired in 1990 was one of the first American network television episodes to address the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Yeah…so I’m HIV Positive that I hated this show.

A Different World Opening Credits:

Classic Lost Message Board Topics Remade

One of the only things better than the show Lost is the list of images that message board users with adult acne have made over the years. Unfortunately there is no real easy way to post all of these images other than to just link to the message boards where they are shown. Obviously one of them is the Lostpedia boards, but another one is the GameFAQs TV board. I am not sure if you can see the GameFAQs board without creating an account, but I am pretty sure you can see them on Lostpedia easily.

Here is the GameFAQs topic. Like I said you probably have to register for the site just to see it. Also, for this type of thing you are going to want the Text to Image Firefox add-on for it because it just makes it a heck of a lot easier to look at instead of copy/pasting everything. Linkification is another nice add-on that will be helpful for this board in particular because it doesn’t actually make live links. Linkification can be turned on and make text into a clickable link.

Now the Lostpedia topic is really long and the first several pages have absolutely nothing on them. Skip to about page 16 or so.

Here are is an example of what these things are:

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