Internet. Serious Business.

Just playing through Fallout 3 again recently because of all the new Downloadable Content (DLC) I just had to discuss the man named Ronald Laren. He has some of the most memorable lines in the game, and they always make me laugh.

This time playing through (probably my 5th playthrough of the game), I decided to play as a female character once again, but with the rise in cap level from 20-30 because of the Broken Steel DLC I am able to use some perks that I normally just disregard. Specifically the Black Widow Perk. This perk allows you to do 10% more damage against male enemies, but more importantly in the case of Ronald Laren, it allows you to have some unique speech options.

So…our boy Ronald is living in the 2 house town of Girdershade with the clueless, Nuka-Cola addict, Sierra Petrovita. Ronald wants to “plow her bean filed”, and do the “horizontal bop” with her, but she is just oblivious to his obvious charms.

One of the quests involves Sierra asking you to find her 30 bottles of Nuka-Cola Quantum for her Nuka-Cola machine, but Ronald isn’t too excited about this because he doesn’t want you to hook up with his woman, or show him up. The Quantum is a very irradiated version of Nuka-Cola that glows int he dark. It is basically a great substitute for weight loss supplements in the Capital Wasteland. Well..other than running for your life.

While I could just post his epic lines it is better to show some hilarious video of the Ronald Laren interaction with a female character who has the Black Widow Perk.

Ronald Laren the Prervert ( I found this one the funniest with the uploader’s comments):

He runs off and gets killed after this in his excitement. Poor, horny, bastard.

This one is what happens if you actually strike the deal with him, and he pretends he went and got them all:

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