Posting on Message Boards While Drunk

Author: The Troll

You know how it is. You actually left the house to have some fun (yeah right). You went to a party, or the bar and when you get home you think you need to post about it on your favorite message board. Nobody is fooled. First of all, you are home, ALONE. You went out and didn’t get any. Any information pertaining to you hooking up is completely disregarded. It has to be because it is not true. Besides…if you really did hook up, you probably have real friends. Considering you come on the internet to brag about hooking up is just sad. If you are drunk, the sober people will trick you into admitting that you have been home all night drinking alone….like you always do.

Just this time you got too drunk. In your stupor a story came into your head. A story about how cool you are, and how much you hook up. You are in a blackout of course, but that doesn’t stop you from mashing keys on a keyboard, misspelling simple words, and concocting a ridiculous story about how someone of the opposite (or same) sex found you attractive enough to let you touch them. Back away from the computer.

If for some reason you actually did go out you should know better. It’s bad enough that you are going to wake up tomorrow and realize that you made an ass out of yourself in real life. Now you have it saved for posterity on the internet. It is painfully obvious that you didn’t hook up, or you wouldn’t be on the internet telling people about it. Sure you may have gotten a hug, or made out, but seriously. You are so drunk right now that you couldn’t perform anyways and you will figure that out after you sleep it off.

The other drunk guy is the drunk guy that comes home and knows everything about everything. You could design micro sd, or even manufacture it and this guy will tell you that he invented it at some point if that is the only discussion on his geek board he goes to. Forget about him entering a conversation about relationships. This guy has done it all! You had sex with two women at the same time? Hell…so has he! Tonight actually! Why are you telling people on the internet this anyways? You liar.

Go home, watch TV, gaze at a bit of pr0n, and go to bed. If you go on a message board you are just going to get laughed at, and the next time you go there you will be a perennial joke.

Filed under: Message Board People