Growing up, one of the greatest books out there were the “Choose Your OWn Adventure” sort. After each page you read, the book gives you 2-5 options as to where you want the story to go next. With these options, one book becomes like 5. You can play the story out in several different ways and end up with completely different adventures.

MAny times you will see these pop up on message boards. Of course these topics are much better than any of these books ever were. Simply because these threads are not made for children and you can see tons of crazy ideas that make a hysterical story.

Although people tend to spend way too much tim bringing zombies, and Armageddon, every once in a while there is one worth reading. Things that will follow the adventures of Chris Hansen of “to Catch a Predator”, or one I saw recently called: “You are a Fat Man CYOA” following a man and his plus size clothing around.

If you have very little imagination, DO NOT make these topics. Only pick the options to lead the story. Nobody wants to read about your trip to band camp if all you do is tell ghost stories around the fire. Of course if you put a flute in your…*cough*…you know…well that may make for an interesting tale.

Hmmm…let me think. Here are some topics I would like to see:

You are Obama as a Pimp
You are Ronald McDonald, Super Hero
You are George Carlin, In Hell
You are Rick Astley
You are Captain Obvious
You are Donald Trump, Best Man at Rosie O’Donnel’s Wedding

If you have ever been to a Showbiz Pizza, or a Chuck-E-Cheese’s you probably remember the band the band of animals playing instruments up on stage while you ate. Well…someone went out and bought a set of them, but instead of the Brithday song they all used to sing they make the play more popular pop music. You knwo the kind you play when you are hooking up with a Slump Buster at cheap hotels because they are fans of N-Sync and other crap bands. There are a few of them out there now so I’ll put them in for you.

Jsut saw this video out and about. Kind of funny. It’s an old Candid Camera video where they watch people on an elevator. The people tend to try and be individual on the elevator, but end up just moving in line with everyone else. They then try to manipulate the situation a little bit.

This was way back during black and white TV days so it is rather innocent. Imagine someone doing it now where a bunch of stiffs were in there and some gangsta looking guy came in with a bunch of gold chain hanging out to see how people would respond. Probably try to move closer to the wall, or even slip out on the wrong floor…lol

Elevator Psychology

This was one of the great memories from the Airplane! movie series. A headline in the “Enquirer” stating that “Boy Trapped in Refrigerator Eats Own Foot”. Based on his medical diagnostics he survived by doing so apparently.

Why the hell am I writing about this? In part because I love that headline, but in full is that I am trying to find an image of that headline and paper from the movie. I haven’t tried anything to find it, and I’m all out of ideas. Well…that isn’t technically true. I have used my amazing skills of search engine dominance to find such an image, but I have yet to find one.

So…if anyone wants to be a nice guy/girl and find it for me and post it in the comments I would be happy. Of course I’m not going to pay you anything to find such a thing for me, but I will give you some props if you do it. You spammin’ bastards may actually get me to release a comment from you for once if you come up with the goods.

Now…most of us think anyone who has to find a mate on the internet is a complete loser. People lie about who they are, and they come to find out it is some freak that was pretending to be 12 when he is 40, the guy gives you a pic of Ponch from ChiPs:

and you end up seeing this guy show up for the date instead:

Of course to actually meet someone from the internet is pretty desperate anyways…You have to be one lonely mofo to take the chance that the psycho you are going to meet isn’t really a psycho, a pedophile, or a transvestite.

Before you start picking out your baby crib bedding…They can go through any compatibility test they want, but the results still end up just the same as the do for anyone else…