Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed-Part 5 (Lunch Box)
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If You are just seeing this series of posts for the first time, please go to the Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed Introduction post to get the back story and the Set Up. If not, well enjoy the next installment of this epic story. The Previous Post is here if you forgot anything 
.
OK…We met the great Ben Omega in the last post and we continue with Buht Fokker giving him the business. Looks like he has given him a new hilarious nickname as well. I find this very creative and some of the things he calls these guys makes me LMAO.
Santos note: It seems I scared Mr. Omega into replying, though his email consisted of nothing else, but the following:
From Ben Omega to Buht Fokker
1. Do you have a wife and kids? yes i have wife and two kids one boy and one girl.
2. What’s your favourite color? my favourite color is blue.
3. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be? i will like to be lion.
Santos note: Hm, a lion. How pathetically predictable.
From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega
Dear lunchbox,
Thank you for answering my questions. It’s good to know you have an ounce of professionalism in your body. Even if the rest is roots, and paste.
I will prepare the funds as swiftly as possible, and make sure I get to Western Union money transfer by today.
There is a problem, though. I have not heard from Miss Goodness for a few days, and I fear for her life. I think some monkeys with ebola might have molested her, and carved up her corpse. Please get her to email me, as I do not like being ignored. If she is not willing to comply, then we may have to end our business together. This is not something I want, but she is leaving me with no choice.
I’m sure you can convince her to reply. Just offer her starving ass some roots and paste. She’s a god damn refugee or whatever, she’ll take what she can get.
Once again, I thank you for your co-operation. But you’re not cool enough to be called Awesome-o yet. I’m sorry, but you’ll really have to impress me, homie.
Peace out,
Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.
My Note: lunch box? Hilarious. Couldn’t be any funnier if he called him some sort of Ingersoll Rand air tools. That name had me rolling when I first saw it.
Santos note: Just to make sure, I sent another email to that incompetent Goodness.
From Buht Fokker to Goodness
Dear Goodness,
Well lunchbox finally answered my questions, but to be honest his fees are quite high. WHY ARE YOU NOT REPLYING TO MY EMAILS. I’m starting to think that you’re not serious about this. I am trying to help you here, and get you out of that septic tank of a country. Do you want to be molested by ebola monkies all your life? I EXPECT A REPLY FROM YOU.
The following questions have still not been answered by you:
1. What do you think of my girlfriend? Would you like to become friends with her?
2. What do you think of me coming to Senegal to pick you up? And what about me sending in Mr. Rambeau?
Look, Goodness, you’re breakin’ my balls gal, you’re breakin’ my balls! If you’re not convinced about Mr. Rambeau being able to pull this off on his own, I’ll send my elder brother along, too. This guy is one tough bastard. His name is Heican Yahumpmi. He didn’t like the family name, so he changed it. He’s so badass, this one time, he deflected a barrage of machine gun fire with his scrotum. I’ve attached a picture of him. He looks a lot like me, doesn’t he? Oh and his eye looks funny, because of an accident he once had, whilst in a threesome. He, and Mr. Rambeau, were boning some ho, and just as Mr. Rambeau was giving her a “pearl necklace,” his “shot” went wide, and hit my bro in his eye.
Anyway, I expect you to reply swiftly, or I will reconsider my offer of help. REMEMBER: REPLY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO CHANGE MY MIND.
Wearily,
Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.
Mr. Rambeu:
Santos: It would seem my threats are quite effective! Guess who broke email silence? Yup, our good friend Goodness is back in town.
From Goodness to Buht Fokker
My Dear
I am very happy to read your mail today how are you and your health i know all is in good condition over there to God be the glory, mine i am littel fine over here hoping the day my eye will see you in your country for a batter life. (Did…did she say she wants to be battered?)
Dear like you said i will like to leave out of this refugee camp and come over to your country so that we will stay there and work for the transfer of the money to gather over there because the type of life i am facing here as a result of my asylum is too hard and difficult for me. Could you emerging where some one is hugely restricted to his own values and no good food, water and light in fact all human am unities is lacking here and movements are also restricted, but i will come by my self i dont want you to send me any bordy for me if you like you come by your self or i come by my self but my problem now is how i will gate money for my passport so i need your help, about your girl friend any how you want us to be, i will stop here hoping to hear a good news from you soon.
Yours Miss Goodness
From Buht Fokker to Goodness
Dear Goodness,
It’s so good to hear from you at last! I thought savage ebola monkeys had sodomised you, then carved up your disease-ridden corpse, and fed it to antelopes! Thank the good Lord you are alive and well. It’s times like this that I just want to get down on my knees in front of Jesus and feel his salvation all over my face! Mmm!
I will send the required information to lunchbox as soon as I’ve finished this email to you. Be thankful- you’ll be out of that shit pit of a country before you can say, “rape my eye-socket, and make me squirt cum out my nose!” Yup, rapid is the name of the game.
I have one small request for you. I know that you are a God-loving person, and I admire that about you. However, my partner, who is assisting me with the issue of money (I’m currently paying off large gambling debts, so I need help) wants to be assured of your good Christian nature. I know it’s a pain, but could you send a picture of yourself, or if not you, someone who can help you, holding a sign that says, “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” If you do this, my partner will be very happy to allow the money to reach you.
So, to summarize: I need you, or someone from the camp to hold up a sign that says “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” Please do this, as it will assure him of your good nature. It’s a rule we have here.
I know that you will do this, as you are a good woman. And supple, too, I’ll bet.
Expectantly,
Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.
From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega
Dear lunchbox,
As promised, here are the details you requested:
Full name: Buht Fokker
Address: 550 E. Iliff Ave.
Denver, CO 80210
If there is anything else you require, please contact me straight away. I am eager to conclude this business, and I’m sure you are too. Unfortunately I am unable to send the money straight away, as I need something from Miss Goodness, which I have emailed her about. It is a simple matter for her to take care of, so DON’T WORRY. I know how pissy you can get, and get your robes in a bunch.
I remain,
Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.
Santos note: That’s the address of the Denver Metro/SWAT Bureau.
From Goodness to Buht Fokker
My Daer
How is your day today i know all is well with you?
The lawyer came to my Rev father office yesterday and inform him how you and him is going so darling please try and help me and send the lawyer the money today so that he will start the preparetion of the document abut the pic attach here is the picture, i will stop here hoping hear a good news from you soon.
Yours Miss Goodness
Santos note: You can imagine how happy I was to see her say that she’d attached the picture, so I eagerly scrolled down, to see this mugu half-wit make a complete jackass of him/herself. To my dismay, I found that this complete fucktard, had sent the Same. Fucking. Pictures. This would not do.
LMAO! Seriously, I’m still laughing about lunch box. There is quite a bit of hilarity left in all this and it will probably take a few more posts I think so if you are just getting into it you may want to subscribe to the Internet. Serious Business. RSS Feed so that you know when I have another section of it up so that you don’t have to keep checking back everyday.
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