Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed-Part 5 (Lunch Box)

If You are just seeing this series of posts for the first time, please go to the Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed Introduction post to get the back story and the Set Up. If not, well enjoy the next installment of this epic story. The Previous Post is here if you forgot anything :) .

OK…We met the great Ben Omega in the last post and we continue with Buht Fokker giving him the business. Looks like he has given him a new hilarious nickname as well. I find this very creative and some of the things he calls these guys makes me LMAO.

Santos note: It seems I scared Mr. Omega into replying, though his email consisted of nothing else, but the following:

From Ben Omega to Buht Fokker

1. Do you have a wife and kids? yes i have wife and two kids one boy and one girl.

2. What’s your favourite color? my favourite color is blue.

3. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be? i will like to be lion.

Santos note: Hm, a lion. How pathetically predictable.

From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega

Dear lunchbox,

Thank you for answering my questions. It’s good to know you have an ounce of professionalism in your body. Even if the rest is roots, and paste.

I will prepare the funds as swiftly as possible, and make sure I get to Western Union money transfer by today.
There is a problem, though. I have not heard from Miss Goodness for a few days, and I fear for her life. I think some monkeys with ebola might have molested her, and carved up her corpse. Please get her to email me, as I do not like being ignored. If she is not willing to comply, then we may have to end our business together. This is not something I want, but she is leaving me with no choice.

I’m sure you can convince her to reply. Just offer her starving ass some roots and paste. She’s a god damn refugee or whatever, she’ll take what she can get.

Once again, I thank you for your co-operation. But you’re not cool enough to be called Awesome-o yet. I’m sorry, but you’ll really have to impress me, homie.

Peace out,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

My Note: lunch box? Hilarious. Couldn’t be any funnier if he called him some sort of Ingersoll Rand air tools. That name had me rolling when I first saw it.

Santos note: Just to make sure, I sent another email to that incompetent Goodness.


From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,
Well lunchbox finally answered my questions, but to be honest his fees are quite high. WHY ARE YOU NOT REPLYING TO MY EMAILS. I’m starting to think that you’re not serious about this. I am trying to help you here, and get you out of that septic tank of a country. Do you want to be molested by ebola monkies all your life? I EXPECT A REPLY FROM YOU.

The following questions have still not been answered by you:

1. What do you think of my girlfriend? Would you like to become friends with her?

2. What do you think of me coming to Senegal to pick you up? And what about me sending in Mr. Rambeau?

Look, Goodness, you’re breakin’ my balls gal, you’re breakin’ my balls! If you’re not convinced about Mr. Rambeau being able to pull this off on his own, I’ll send my elder brother along, too. This guy is one tough bastard. His name is Heican Yahumpmi. He didn’t like the family name, so he changed it. He’s so badass, this one time, he deflected a barrage of machine gun fire with his scrotum. I’ve attached a picture of him. He looks a lot like me, doesn’t he? Oh and his eye looks funny, because of an accident he once had, whilst in a threesome. He, and Mr. Rambeau, were boning some ho, and just as Mr. Rambeau was giving her a “pearl necklace,” his “shot” went wide, and hit my bro in his eye.
Anyway, I expect you to reply swiftly, or I will reconsider my offer of help. REMEMBER: REPLY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO CHANGE MY MIND.

Wearily,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Mr. Rambeu:

Mr. Rambo

Santos: It would seem my threats are quite effective! Guess who broke email silence? Yup, our good friend Goodness is back in town.

From Goodness to Buht Fokker

My Dear
I am very happy to read your mail today how are you and your health i know all is in good condition over there to God be the glory, mine i am littel fine over here hoping the day my eye will see you in your country for a batter life. (Did…did she say she wants to be battered?)

Dear like you said i will like to leave out of this refugee camp and come over to your country so that we will stay there and work for the transfer of the money to gather over there because the type of life i am facing here as a result of my asylum is too hard and difficult for me. Could you emerging where some one is hugely restricted to his own values and no good food, water and light in fact all human am unities is lacking here and movements are also restricted, but i will come by my self i dont want you to send me any bordy for me if you like you come by your self or i come by my self but my problem now is how i will gate money for my passport so i need your help, about your girl friend any how you want us to be, i will stop here hoping to hear a good news from you soon.
Yours Miss Goodness

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

It’s so good to hear from you at last! I thought savage ebola monkeys had sodomised you, then carved up your disease-ridden corpse, and fed it to antelopes! Thank the good Lord you are alive and well. It’s times like this that I just want to get down on my knees in front of Jesus and feel his salvation all over my face! Mmm!

I will send the required information to lunchbox as soon as I’ve finished this email to you. Be thankful- you’ll be out of that shit pit of a country before you can say, “rape my eye-socket, and make me squirt cum out my nose!” Yup, rapid is the name of the game.

I have one small request for you. I know that you are a God-loving person, and I admire that about you. However, my partner, who is assisting me with the issue of money (I’m currently paying off large gambling debts, so I need help) wants to be assured of your good Christian nature. I know it’s a pain, but could you send a picture of yourself, or if not you, someone who can help you, holding a sign that says, “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” If you do this, my partner will be very happy to allow the money to reach you.

So, to summarize: I need you, or someone from the camp to hold up a sign that says “I WANT TO FEEL JESUS’ SALVATION ALL OVER MY FACE” Please do this, as it will assure him of your good nature. It’s a rule we have here.
I know that you will do this, as you are a good woman. And supple, too, I’ll bet.

Expectantly,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega

Dear lunchbox,

As promised, here are the details you requested:

Full name: Buht Fokker

Address: 550 E. Iliff Ave.
Denver, CO 80210

If there is anything else you require, please contact me straight away. I am eager to conclude this business, and I’m sure you are too. Unfortunately I am unable to send the money straight away, as I need something from Miss Goodness, which I have emailed her about. It is a simple matter for her to take care of, so DON’T WORRY. I know how pissy you can get, and get your robes in a bunch.

I remain,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Santos note: That’s the address of the Denver Metro/SWAT Bureau.

From Goodness to Buht Fokker

My Daer
How is your day today i know all is well with you?
The lawyer came to my Rev father office yesterday and inform him how you and him is going so darling please try and help me and send the lawyer the money today so that he will start the preparetion of the document abut the pic attach here is the picture, i will stop here hoping hear a good news from you soon.
Yours Miss Goodness

Santos note: You can imagine how happy I was to see her say that she’d attached the picture, so I eagerly scrolled down, to see this mugu half-wit make a complete jackass of him/herself. To my dismay, I found that this complete fucktard, had sent the Same. Fucking. Pictures. This would not do.

LMAO! Seriously, I’m still laughing about lunch box. There is quite a bit of hilarity left in all this and it will probably take a few more posts I think so if you are just getting into it you may want to subscribe to the Internet. Serious Business. RSS Feed so that you know when I have another section of it up so that you don’t have to keep checking back everyday.

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Trunk Monkey Part 7-First Aid

This one has a guy acting like a doormats doing a commercial about how he got into an accident. With the great investment of the Trunk Monkey he found that he would not have survived with out it. After taking a header into a tree the great Trunk Monkey once again comes to the rescue. How did he get out of the trunk?

The Trunk Moneky Part 6: The Chaperone

This is one of the better ones. While some dads is at home checking their pocket watch every few seconds waiting for their daughters to get back from her date, the ones with the trunk monkeys are fast asleep with little to worry about. Watch the guy run when he figures out that our good friend the trunk monkey means serious business.

The Drug Song

Here’s a dumb video about drugs. Kind of catchy I guess after you listen to it a couple times. You must remember all these drugs. The names of which you learned from this video…hehe

So…at the other end of the spectrum let’s show you a video that is anti-drugs to give equal air time.

The place that made this video below actually takes donate cars to make them I guess. Car Angel I believe it is called.

Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed-Part 4 (Ben Omega)

If You are just seeing this series of posts for the first time, please go to the Nigerian 419 Scammers Get Scammed Introduction post to get the back story and the Set Up. If not, well enjoy the next installment of this epic story. The Previous Post is here if you forgot anything :) .

This installment plays more with the bank representative, the great Ben Omega. Also, we get an introduction, or picture rather to Buht Fokker’s woman in this one. Goodness will have to put her thoughts on the new wedding rings on hold once we find out more about our hero’s girlfriend.

From Ben Omega to Buht Fokker

JUDICIAL ADVOCATES D’SENEGAL.
SOLICITORS AND ADVOCATES.
RUE ACHIMIYOU RECCESS(3rd floor)
DAKAR SENEGAL
JUDICIARY OFFICE.
OFFICE TEL 00221-763-895-100.

MY FINDINGS FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT SENEGAL

ATTENTION
SIR
Sequel to the email on the issue of helping you to procure the
necessary document required by the ROYAL BANKING SCOTLAND PLC,to
make your claims and transfer to your account in your country or
anywhere of your choice,We are happy to be honored and promise to
assist and represent you in all assignments.Your partner Miss
Goodness Mbaye was in my office with
Rev Father to discuss about the issuing to you an authorisation
letter that will enable you stand on her behalf to transfer her
money from ROYAL BANKING SCOTLAND PLC.

Attached here is my united nations staff identity card, so that you
know more about the person yo u are dealing with.From my enquiries
fro m t he federa l high court today , i t w ill cost YOU
the sum of ………………800 Dollars for authentication of the power of
attorney and the affidavit of support at the high court before it
becomes valid and ………………. 450 Dollars for notary stamping at the
notary public, My legal processing fee is …………..380 Dollars total is (1,630 Dollars)…..
To speedy the process you are to send these money to me today through
(wester union money transfer system).which is the fastest way of sending
money to enable my noble office prepare and validate the power of
attorney and the affidavit of support here in the high court and notary
public respectively..You are to send the………….. 1,630 Dollars

you will send the money through wester union with this name

BAR CHARLES VICTOR
Address…………RUE ACHIMIYOU RECCESS
CITY……………….DAKAR SENEGAL
CODE……………..00221.

The cost of obtaining the documents including our service fee
is…………………… 1,630 Dollars

Also, it will take about 2 working days to process the document..
The affidavit of support will first be obtained from the federal High
Court of Senegal and as soon as this is ready, we will proceed
immediately to draft the Power of Attorney which will be dully signed
by your partner Miss Mbaye and witness by me also naturalized
by the federal magistrate.

To Process the document we need the following information from you,
(1) Your name and your full address as you will like it to appear
in the document.
(2) Your phone number.
Note, upon receipt of the fee and the information needed to obtain this
documents, we shall proceed immediately to procure the documents which
will take us 2 working days to complete. Should you have any
question,contact us at 00221-763-895-100
Yours Sincerely In Service
BAR DR BEN OMEGA (ESQ)
PRINCIPAL ATTORNEY.
BAR CHARLES VICTOR
ASSISTANT

Here is the photo that Ben Omega provided as “proof”:

Ben Omega

Santos note: I’m insulted. If that’s the best he can do, he should go jump into the nearest croc infested river, and get his balls chewed off. Stupid dumbass.


From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega

Dear Awesome-o,

That’s you Mr. Omega. I love your name so fucking much, I’m gonna call you Awesome-o from now on.

Thank you for replying so swiftly. And for supplying me with your ID card. I gotta say, I’m not impressed with the U.N. Surely they could spring for a more professional looking card. I mean that looks like it was hastily thrown together in paint or some crap. Not cool, yo.

Another thing: Awesome-o, my man, you’re too formal! Could you tell me a bit about yourself? I make it a point to know about the people I deal with. I’m sure you understand my position. In America, we call that position the “reverse cowgirl.” I’d like you to answer the following questions:

1. Do you have a wife and kids?
2. What’s your favorite color?
3. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be?

Please respond to these questions, as it is important for me to get to know you.

Yours admiringly,

Buht Fokker
Chaiman/CEO DVDA Inc.

P.S. You look like a well-fed mofo! Not like those starving guys you always see on the news! I always thought all people in Africa looked like that. Thanks for educating me, lunchbox!!

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

I’ve heard from the lawyer, and he informed me about all that I must do.
I also have some more news. I was talking to my girlfriend, and explained the whole situation to her. I know, I know, you wanted me to keep this on the down-low, but she’s cool, she won’t talk. And if she does, I’ll bust her lip wide open. I already told you I was from Alabama, didn’t I?

Anyways, my girlfriend would very much like to meet you, when you get here. You two can gossip about..hair..and stickers..or whatever the hell it is you hos talk about. I’ve enclosed a picture of her. Isn’t she beautiful? Be honest, please. I know that you, being the God-fearing woman you are, would never lie, or cheat. Or steal. It’s just wrong isn’t it? I hope all thieves and fraudsters get cancer and die in house fires.

Take care Goodness, you’ll be outta there faster than you can say, “let’s 69 , then spit my load back in my mouth, like the snowballing freaks we are.” Yup, as quick as that.

Tantalizingly,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Buht Fokker’s girlfriend:

girlfriend

Santos note: It seems I pissed off Mr. Omega, as he sent this rather angry reply.

From Ben Omega to Buht Fokker

ATTENTION .
SIR
SEQUEL TO THE MAIL ON ISSUE OF HELPING YOU TO PREPARE THE DOCUMENTS
NEEDED BY THE (ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND PLC) TO MAKE YOUR CLAIMS AND
TRANSFER THE FOUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ANYWHERE OF YOUR CHOICE. I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE RECEIVE YOUR MAIL AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY SELF I HAVE GIVE YOU MY (ID) SO WHAT AGAIN DO YOU WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT ME YOU CONTACT ME TO HELP YOU TO PREPARE A POWER OF ATTORNEY IN YOU NAME AND I HAVE TELL YOU WHAT IT WILL COST YOU SO GO HEAD AND SEND THE MONEY SO THAT I WILL START PREPARING DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFOR ONCE I RECEIVE THE MONEY IT WILL TAKE ME TWO WORKING DAYS TO FINISH THE DOCUMENT IN YOUR NAME, AND WHEN EVER YOU SEND THE MONEY TRY AND SEND ME THE INFORMATION THAT YOU USE TO SEND IT AND THE CONTROL NUMBER.

THANKS FOR YOUR DECISION TO WORK WITH OUR LAW FIRM IN THIS TRANSACTION.WE GIVE PRIORITY ATTENTION TO OUR CLIENTS AT ALL TIME.
YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE
BAR BEN OMEGA

Santos note: Who the hell does this silly Mugu think he is? No one talks to Buht Fokker like that! Also, I love how he calls a reply, a sequel.

From Buht Fokker to Ben Omega

Dear lunchbox,

That’s right, lunchbox. I’m not calling your fat ass “Awesome-o” ever again. I thought you were cool, man. What the hell? I asked you for one little thing. I just like to know about the people I’m dealing with. Is that so much to ask? It’s company policy to get a small amount of information, before we begin deals with people. Clearly you’re too busy feasting on roots and paste, or whatever it is you people eat, to do serious business with me. You’re making my balls convulse in anger. Well screw that.

I’m a nice guy, though. I’ll give you another chance. Just reply to those three questions, and I shall send you the information, straight away. Then our business shall be concluded, and I never have to see your fat ass again.
I am a reasonable man, lunchbox. I assure you that the information shall be sent to you as soon as you answer my questions. Don’t let me down.

Disappointedly,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

Santos note: I followed this up, with an email to Goodness. That moron wasn’t replying to my emails, and I was getting pissed.

From Buht Fokker to Goodness

Dear Goodness,

Why aren’t you replying to my emails? S’up, yo? Maybe you’re not serious about doing this? I thought we were like that? (I’m crossing my fingers). Listen, I think that lawyer you put me in contact with is a bit of a useless fag. The guy is beyond incompetent. I asked him three questions, and he flew off the handle, and started crying and shit. Well fuck that.

I have an idea. Why don’t I fly to Senegal, and pick you up? That way, you’ll be able to come to the U.S straight away, and we can bring the money, too. Or sort out the transfer whilst you’re here. I understand that it might be difficult to get you out of the country, though. To that end, I’ve arranged for an excellent friend of mine to bust you out, should things get too hairy. His name is Jonathan Rambeau. He’s like an ex-green beret or something. Dude once went into, like, Russia, on his own, and took down a helicopter, and a small army. At least I think it was Russia…All those eastern Europeans look the same to me. I’ve enclosed a photo of the guy. He’s far more dangerous than he looks. He once impregnated a yak, just by looking at it.

Please email me back as soon as you can. We can have you out of the country by next week.

Stay cool,

Buht Fokker
Chairman/CEO DVDA Inc.

P.S Tell lunchbox (that useless turd of a lawyer) that he needs to lay off the roots and paste. He’ll know what I mean.

Picture sent:

hitman.jpg

My Notes: Buht Fokker is really getting serious with these guys, but they seem to just let it all roll off their backs. Well…except for Omega with his ALL CAPS mails. There is quite a bit of hilarity left in all this and it will probably take another 5 posts I think so if you are just getting into it you may want to subscribe to the Internet. Serious Business. RSS Feed so that you know when I have another section of it up so that you don’t have to keep checking back everyday.

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