Spiders on Drugs

lol…I don’t know.

Parody Motivator Generator

Make your own motivation poster and amaze your friends. Hang in there? Bah! Deter people from trying!

Enjoy the Parody Motivation Generator. Here’s my stupid attempt:

skool1


Fresh Prince of Bel Air Fad

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air fad is one of the most unexpected conclusions to a story in message board history. The topic creator will begin a story about something that seems rather interesting, amazing, or completely ludicrous and end the story by pulling out a Bel Air reference. I think advertisers may have even used themed PPC ads in relation to this fad at some point…lol

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was a sitcom from the 90s that starred the now infamous Will Smith in which he was a…well just look at the theme song:

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air

In west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said “we’re up in no good”
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said “you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air”

(only the first three episodes of season one)

I begged and pleaded with her the other day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kissin’ and she gave me my ticket
I put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick it

First class, yo this is bad,
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of bel-air livin’ like,
Hmm this might be alright!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
Licensplate said “fresh” and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby “yo, home smell you later”
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

Most stories that use this fad will be about some fight a guy got into in real life and it will go pretty in depth. The topic creator will look to rope the reader in with an interesting story that will get the reader thinking it is real, or just a well written short story. After a few paragraphs the topic creator will bust out with these lines to end the story:

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said “you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air”

It has gotten so widespread that many message board users from these boards will just look at the end of the post to see if this is included to decide whether reading this entire Wall O’ Text is necessary. Much less common now than it was in the past, but when originally used it was very clever. I just assume this originated on 4chan since they are the origin of every fad known to man.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air Fad

ASCII Topics (Nobody Expects Jinjo)


ASCII Art is kind of an odd little message board subject that incorporates popular characters from various places with board members who have the talent to make them. ASCII art is an artistic medium that relies primarily on computers for presentation and consists of pictures pieced together from the 95 printable (from a total of 128) characters defined by the ASCII Standard from 1967 and ASCII compliant character sets with proprietary extended characters (beyond the 128 characters of the 7-bit standard ASCII). Users will make anything into an ASCII image. From Telrad telephones to Mudkipz.

Some of the funniest things you will see on boards are the ASCII topics. I think the Seinfeld ones are certainly the best. The Current Events Forum on Gamefaqs has been doing quite a fad with them lately where they break up the ASCII images and put one or 2 together to make ridiculous images.

Some of these are absolutely amazing. The talent that puts these together is really impressive. I pulled a few of the more common ones out. The Jinjo one is one of the oldest. Those don’t necessarily come in a dedicated ASCII topic as seen by the wording with the image. There could be any topic title and that pic just shows up as the first post to be funny. If done correctly the first reply should be “unexpected/10″ to denote that the reader was tricked by the topic title and did not expect to see Master Jinjo.

The Seinfeld images are great as well. Jerry, George, and Kramer making all kinds of hilarious comments that are sure to grab a few laughs. Take a look at a few variations of the images below from the GameFaqs ASCII Collection:

jinjo

seinfeldascii

ascii

Update: My good buddy Jules suggested a nice ASCII site. The ASCII Art Farts has millions of examples to look at.

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

You have to be one crazy internet user to put up a post with a picture of your girl/boyfriend in it and ask other users to rate them out of 10. Don’t you know that everyone on the internet only dates models? Don’t you know that everyone is cooler than you? You could have a hot female that also runs systems management admin and plays video games but all these geeks have had better. In fact they wouldn’t even touch this girl that likely is a 7 or 8 out of 10 to anyone who isn’t living a lie.

The Kill it With Fire poster is pretty much the same as the Slay the Beast poster, but thinks adding this little tidbit makes them even more hardcore. If it isn’t a supermodel you are a chump. These guys have more notches on their bedposts than Wilt Chamberlain. For you that don’t know who Wilt the Stilt is and the fact that he claims he had over 10,000 women do now because I just told you. The Kill it With Fire poster is right in Wilt’s league on the internet. Had hotter, and wouldn’t touch your girl with a ten foot pole.

You may get a few perverts that tell you your girl is super sexy cool, but there won’t be many when there are internet pimps all over the place. You would be best served to show random strangers on the street a pic from your wallet to get an actual rating for your pic. Since none of these guys ever go outside that post on these boards, they never see anything but scantily clad models, and celebrities on their monitors. They are living in a dream world. Don’t subject yourself to their worthless opinions.

Kill it With Fire is not just used for insulting your significant other, however. It can be used for almost anything really when the poster is getting obnoxious and trying to show he knows some internet slang. Let’s go to the examples…

Poster 1: Look. It is tubgirl.
Poster 2: KILL IT WITH FIRE! OH NOES!

Poster 1: My fingers hurt.
Poster 2: Happy Gilmore’d

Poster 1: My car is a Ford Focus
Poster 2: KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Yup…just a stupid phrase. Destroy it with extreme prejudice. KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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